Do I still have a chance with him?

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Do I still have a chance with him?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    maddiewilson
    Participant
    September 2, 2014 at 10:06 pm #60557
    Do I still have a chance with him?

    I noticed a guy at my college’s gym who I would see all the time. I smiled at him and he said hi, and the next day, he initiated a conversation with me. We would see each other there a couple days a week and talk for about 20 minutes. He’s 28 ,a grad student, and I’m 19. He SEEMED to show a lot of interest in me, he would remember EVERYTHING i told him, he would always ask me how my midterms or papers went, and he would look at me for a long time and smile and laugh at everything I said. This went on for several weeks, but he never asked me for my number.
    School ended, so I added him on Facebook and messaged him. We messaged for about a month, then I casually brought up hiking because it was something he showed interest in. I said that I always wanted to go but could never find anyone willing to go with me, hint hint. He never replied after this! Should I talk to him if I see him when school starts or is he not into me? I developed really strong feelings for him


    awkwardsaurus
    Participant
    September 2, 2014 at 10:13 pm #60559

    Honestly, it kind of sounds like he doesn’t know what he wants. I mean, a nine-year age difference isn’t a deal-breaker for everyone, but it can still be kind of jarring. He might have been interested in you, but on the other hand, he’s almost thirty. He’s probably two thousand miles away in terms of career path or whatnot, and maybe he feels like dating a girl half his age at this point would be kind of creepy. I mean, if co-workers my age found out I was dating someone half or even two-thirds my age, eyebrows would be raised. Or, again, he just doesn’t know what he wants. I think the best approach is to either ask him point-blank if he has feelings for you, or forget him. I can’t say either option is painless, but it’s better you know what he’s thinking before you invest any more of yourself in him.


    maddiewilson
    Participant
    September 3, 2014 at 8:50 am #60564

    I know the age difference might be a turn off, but I’m really mature for my age. He’s also introverted/soft spoken, so maybe he’s nervous or inexperienced?


    Jason1313
    Participant
    September 3, 2014 at 9:13 am #60596

    was he very energitic with this messages to you,what was his body language when you talked to him and did he said what he liked in girls or even talked about them?


    yeezus
    Participant
    September 3, 2014 at 10:23 pm #60671

    sure


    maddiewilson
    Participant
    September 5, 2014 at 3:27 pm #60821

    Yes, his body language was always very attentive, facing me, and he would mostly ask me about my life, and seem genuinely interested, which is why I assumed he was.


    Wolfy27
    Participant
    September 6, 2014 at 2:56 pm #60840

    I kind of agree with awkwardsaurus, I think he doesn’t know what he wants. It looks like he definitely had some interest in you, but perhaps the age difference holds him back from making any kind of move. If you do like him, I think you should try and ask him how he feels about you, then that way you’ll know and then you can move on from there.


    justabeginner
    Participant
    September 7, 2014 at 12:48 pm #60854

    Or maybe he may have seen you as a younger sister.

    Me_too
    Me_too
    Participant
    September 9, 2014 at 8:01 pm #61225

    There is a girl at work that I find attractive and I entertained the idea a little of going out with her, she’s 9 years younger as well and that threw me off ’cause it makes me think she’s not ready to deal with kind of responsibilities I have.. Even if it is not true… He needs to figure out what he wants plus he might be feeling a little guilt and wondering what other people such as your parents will think. He also might not be interested in committing ’cause no guy in their right mind will pass an opportunity to hang out with the girl he likes. Be patient and don’t hang on in what if..


    Chocobrownie
    Participant
    September 10, 2014 at 2:22 am #61235
    Reply To: Do I still have a chance with him?

    Dear, I’m sorry but I think when guys are interested they will go for it.
    Of course you can try to get his attention (mostly flirting) then maybe you can make him feel interested in you. Once you have his interest, then the story is different..