Do you need to feel chemistry on the first date?

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Do you need to feel chemistry on the first date?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    featherwink
    featherwink
    Participant
    December 20, 2015 at 7:03 pm #90343
    Do you need to feel chemistry on the first date?

    Is a lack of chemistry on the first date is a deal-breaker?

    In my efforts to ‘grow up’ and have a mature relationship, I’ve realized I have to let go of being ‘blown away’ by someone upon first meeting — perhaps ironically, this week I met up with a guy with whom I exchanged hilarious texts, and though we had a good time, he texted to say he didn’t feel any chemistry so nice to meet you, thanks anyway sorta thing…

    Gotta share this part: the date started out with the waitress recognizing him, then turning to me saying “hey, you’re not __” (insert ex-girlfriend’s name), and going on about how it’s so sad they’re not together anymore. I was half-amused and half-grab-a-brain-or-at-least-a-modicum-of-social-etiquette!! I’d had a very long day at work, had barely eaten, and was not at the top of ‘my game’. Despite that, we had good conversation, lots in common, and even though I didn’t feel fireworks, was willing to give it another shot…but maybe he’s right: no chemistry=no 2nd date?


    bgreek
    Participant
    December 20, 2015 at 7:27 pm #90347

    I have a problem with chemistry
    If that’s all you and a date have
    My question is what happens when it fades?
    Than what do you have nothing

    Sometimes people get nervous on the 1st date
    Call it more of a meet and great


    decoma87
    Participant
    December 20, 2015 at 11:26 pm #90351

    no


    Relationup
    Participant
    December 28, 2015 at 9:12 am #90503

    Chemistry can grow. It is not always love at first site. There needs to be some sort of emotional “connection” but not necessarily a chemistry. That can develop over time. But if you don’t connect at some level, then it is doubtful that much will grow. It sounds like in this case your date has made the determination that there wasn’t enough there to continue and that’s ok. Best to move on and see where things can develop with someone else.


    mazman
    Participant
    December 29, 2015 at 7:13 pm #90699

    Word of advice to all… You can fall madly in love with someone you don’t really have chemistry with or even like that much. In my younger days I have done it several times in my quest to keep girls around just to satisfy my sexual appetite. The girl with all the tattoos from the other side of the tracks that mom would never approve of turns out to be the sweetest, caring, coolest person ever. But if you don’t enjoy the person enough to spend time with them, move on. All I’m saying is that I’m a firm believer in get to know someone first before you cross them off your list if you are attracted to them and like other things about them.


    fimrod
    Participant
    December 29, 2015 at 8:09 pm #90701

    Yeah I also think you can develop chemistry by spending more with that person, but if that is decided not to continue with you coz of that, well you cannot blame her either at the end it requires two people to be into a relationship.
    Move on and best of luck next time.


    mariannlewis
    Participant
    December 29, 2015 at 10:52 pm #90709

    Not really. So long as you feel it soon.


    tyw2345
    Participant
    December 29, 2015 at 11:23 pm #90713

    Yes


    lovememore
    Participant
    December 30, 2015 at 10:13 am #90720

    Yes, you can know right away if you enjoy the company of someone or not. Is being with him enjoyable or not?


    Flygirl
    Participant
    January 3, 2016 at 10:55 pm #90853
    Reply To: Do you need to feel chemistry on the first date?

    It is a bit more possible for a woman to develop chemistry through mutual interests and personality but guys tend to need that chemistry right away. I think it goes hand in hand with the physical attraction that they need to connect with you.


    randirose
    Participant
    January 5, 2016 at 1:57 am #90995
    Reply To: Do you need to feel chemistry on the first date?

    I think chemistry can grow too. If he’s an attractive, interesting, good guy and all goes well, I would give him a second date regardless.


    SurvivorKs
    Participant
    January 5, 2016 at 7:12 am #91001
    Reply To: Do you need to feel chemistry on the first date?

    I think it should take more than one meet to know, for the simple reason what one of you was having a bad day


    Robdog93
    Participant
    January 6, 2016 at 6:49 am #91082
    Reply To: Do you need to feel chemistry on the first date?

    I didn’t feel much chemistry with my current girlfriend on our first date, but when I discovered more about her, we’re more alike than I ever knew.


    lonewolf88
    Participant
    January 7, 2016 at 3:31 pm #91270
    Reply To: Do you need to feel chemistry on the first date?

    No. It takes time for things to develop. If a woman mentions chemistry on, during or after the first day, she is indecisive and just giving excuses. If that’s the case, just move on.