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Jenny_brainsParticipantApril 23, 2018 at 12:25 pm #171436
I started dating this guy almost 6 months ago and at the time it was more of a friends with benefits type scenario. I expressed that I don’t want a commitment and he seemed fine with that. Now it seems like every other time we hangout he acts like we are in a relationship saying things like ” your parents would love me” or saying how we have so many of the same interests. He cuddles with me whether we are alone or in front of his friends. I went ahead and caught feelings so I asked him this morning if he wanted to be my boyfriend and expressed that I now would like to be in a relationship. His response was that he “doesn’t do relationships” after his initial response of ” I do not have an answer to that” and mentioning that we get along so well and he likes spending time with me. I didn’t want to push so I just left it at that and haven’t spoken to him since. Not sure what to make of it and not sure how long I should wait to try and talk about this again. Please help
brick-49ParticipantApril 23, 2018 at 5:25 pm #171449
Hmmm this is kind of strange being he was sort of acting like you guys were already in a relationship. I would say maybe he wasn’t expecting you to ask him and it took him by surprise. I would give it a few days to let him figure it out, seems to me that he doesn’t know what he wants at this point.
hbr_1995ParticipantApril 23, 2018 at 9:38 pm #171529
Stuff like this happened to me a few times and I’d finally learned the best but hardest way to handle it is to create distance. You don’t need to play hard to et because he already knows you like him but you can have standards for yourself and that’s the most attractive thing to someone. Again you don’t have to start acting different just be upfront and say…. you know I feel that contining to sleep together is not the healthiest thing for me. Go out with your girlfriends, talk to other guys, have hobbies etc. You will grow confident and he will see that and be more attracted to you. If he starts asking to hang out, test him by seeing if he wants to go to dinner or meet your friends etc instead of cuddling and going to his place. That will show you if he likes you
StarlingBirdParticipantApril 29, 2018 at 5:05 pm #171808
I would suggest you just pull back a bit. Don’t talk about a relationship with him, don’t sleep with, treat him as JUST a friend… no benefits. See what happens. Maybe his tune will change.
flower5ParticipantMay 3, 2018 at 11:23 pm #172151
You say that you two were not in a committed relationship to start with. But how you thought that he might have changed his opinion. I think that those were probably just your feelings and now that you and him have actually talked about it, the situation remains the way it started and that is that you two are not in a committed relationship.
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Jblue2367ParticipantMay 4, 2018 at 9:50 pm #172246
I would say that he’s confused about it. It seems like he was on board with it at first, but now it seems like he had time to maybe over think things and now he isn’t so sure. Maybe his guard is up because now you want to see how a relationship can go and he isn’t so sure how to process it. Give it a few days and see if something changes.
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