Does she just want a hookup or more?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Does she just want a hookup or more?

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2017 at 4:50 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    ha541
    Participant
    September 16, 2014 at 8:10 am #62009
    Does she just want a hookup or more?

    Currently I am developing a pretty big crush on this girl I have hung out with 6 times. We are both in college, her being a senior and me a junior. The school we go to is a very conservative and catholic school.

    Details on what happened.
    We saw each other at parties but never talked before but we have a mutual friend so he invited me to a small party at her place one night.

    We go out to the bar and whenever we get back we make out for the night and she said she knew this was going to happen.

    We then hung 2 more days that week and made out again those nights.

    I didn’t try anything more considering she isn’t like the girls I’m used to from my home town who I could have bagged the first time meeting. She wouldn’t be down for sex or stuff for awhile.

    I forgot to add I did not text her before any of those 2 other times we hungout. I waited 1 week to text her.

    Then the next week later I text her and she invites me over to party again and we go to the bar


    ha541
    Participant
    September 16, 2014 at 8:12 am #62010

    And the same thing happens again.

    I tell her I like hanging out and she says “or do you just like making out” and I say I like hanging with you.

    Then Friday night same story line but she fell asleep laying in my arms and I ended up leaving and Saturday night we cuddled for a little after a party.

    I never stayed the night with her and we only have sent like 20 total texts in almost 2 weeks so I can’t get a solid read on her.

    Most girls at my college want relationships .

    I want one with this girl but idk what she wants or how to approach this.

    And whenever we do text she seems to be the one not to reply after 2 or so texts, but all texts I have sent her were a question about a party or pregame.

    I haven’t sent any texts about feelings or any random texts through out the day ever.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  ha541.

    ha541
    Participant
    September 16, 2014 at 8:54 am #62012

    Forgot to add the most important part, everytime we made out we were drunk except the last time whenever I was drunk on her couch while she was outside with friends and she just came down and cuddled with me in front of all of them.

    Twina0419
    Twina0419
    Participant
    September 16, 2014 at 11:24 am #62026

    Ok…..first, you should try and do something together that does not involve alcohol. :). Second, you need to be 100% upfront and honest with how you feel about her and see how she receives it. Once you have those answers, you’ll know how to move forward!


    ha541
    Participant
    September 16, 2014 at 11:31 am #62028

    Yes next time I see her I plan on being open on how I feel. Most likely it’ll be tomorrow but we both will be drinking if so..

    I would like to chill with her tonight or something at her place or something but I’m not sure what to text her.

    Usually I have very good game texting girls but I’ve played this way too conservative and haven’t texted her like at all and now I don’t know what to text her.

    I do feel like she is interested in me somewhat but now I just don’t even know what to text her which is crazy for me.

    Twina0419
    Twina0419
    Participant
    September 16, 2014 at 12:04 pm #62030

    Just ask her what her plans are for tonight. If she says she has no plans, make some with her!


    ha541
    Participant
    September 16, 2014 at 2:13 pm #62037

    Should I go direct as in just asking if she has plans or indirect by asking if she has seen this movie which I know she hasn’t and tell her we should watch it if she’s free.


    ha541
    Participant
    September 16, 2014 at 6:47 pm #62038

    Texted her and now have plans to watch a scary movie with her tonight 🙂
    First non drunk time hanging out haha


    ha541
    Participant
    September 17, 2014 at 12:07 am #62049

    I’m basically done trying now. I’m sitting here watching a scary movie with 5 of her girl friends and I’m not even sitting beside her.. Shoot me


    ha541
    Participant
    September 18, 2014 at 11:18 am #62149
    Reply To: Does she just want a hookup or more?

    Update on everything.

    That night that sucked ended up turning into a great night.
    She cuddled with me and even kisses me a few times in front of her friends. All of her friends love me. I even stayed the night with her and I tried to do more but she didn’t want to but as the making out got more intense I had my shot and didn’t take it. I probably could have had aex with her but didn’t because I’m dumb.

    When we were laying there she was like “you like me” and I ended up saying yes and not asking how she felt.

    And then last night everyone went tl the bar and she basically flirted with every guy except me. And would randomly just ask me what’s wrong because she could tell I was pissed.

    But yeah now I’m pissed off because I was non existent to her and she only cared to look at other guys.

    So now I’m even more confused on what to do.

    One guy who she flirted with I know is texting her trying so hard while I barely text her.

    Idk what to text her or if I should.


    Anonymous
    September 19, 2014 at 11:51 am #62268
    Reply To: Does she just want a hookup or more?

    Listen….there is no perfect way to go about this, but the ONLY way to go about this is talking to her and making sure you guys get onto the same page….either dating each other, or not.

    I know dating can be super crazy in the beginning because you are not exclusive yet, but the idea of watching someone you have connected with, be flirty with other people just sucks!

    So here is how I would play your card: I would say something to this effect….”Listen, I like you and would love to get to know you more. I’m not asking nor requiring exclusivity as that is something that can take some time. I will be honest and tell you it completely sucked to watch you flirt with other guys right in front of me. All that is telling me is that you don’t really hold much value for the time and intimacy we have shared so far. It feels like it’s more insignificant to you than it is for me. Again, you get to do what you want as there is no commitment here however, acting like that right in front


    Anonymous
    September 19, 2014 at 11:54 am #62271
    Reply To: Does she just want a hookup or more?

    of me just puts a super bad taste in my mouth and doesn’t vibe with me very well.

    I just want to make sure you and I are on the same page before we go any further. What are you looking for? Something light and playful with me? Or are you interested in getting to know me more because you feel there could be some potential for something deeper? I know what I would like, but I have a feeling you are approaching this differently, so I just want to clarify. What do you want?”

    Hope this helps!


    hopelessromantic012
    Participant
    September 19, 2014 at 3:42 pm #62303
    Reply To: Does she just want a hookup or more?

    you have to be more upfront about it. tell her that you enjoy hanging out with her and that you like her. ask her where does your relationship stands with her after you tell her that. also try to do one activity where you’re both sober (like going to the bowling alley) that you can get a better read on her.


    ha541
    Participant
    September 21, 2014 at 11:24 am #62323
    Reply To: Does she just want a hookup or more?

    Now the situation just got a lot stickier because of me..

    Last week I thought we were done talking because my mutual friend told me I’m wasting my time.

    And then on Friday night she texts me first to hangout and go to the bars with her which is rare since she never texts me first. At the bar she is just hugging me and standing next to me the whole time acting very interested in me. She was showing hard vibes. The previous 2 days I definitely thought we were done talking. I text her yesterday and she is short texting me and everything.

    Then lastnight I had sex with a random girl 5 minutes after meeting her at this party.
    I feel very guilty about it, the girl I like most likely will never know because I’m keeping it a secret but I feel terrible.

    I regret doing it but idk if I was wrong since idk if we are even officially talking.

    What is your opinion on the situation?