Does she really want to be friends?

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Does she really want to be friends?

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  • Df5m
    Participant
    October 19, 2016 at 12:33 am #114537
    Does she really want to be friends?

    Normally I wouldn’t ask this, but I can’t help but wonder.

    I was rejected last Friday and although I took it pretty well, I am really confused by what’s occurred since then on her part. Not only does she maybe talk to me a little more now, she also initiates conversation with me way more and approaches me more. She talks to me more now than I talked to my ex-girlfriend when we were together. Last night, we talked for 6 hours straight and that was not the first time we’d talked that day. I like talking to her but I have to admit this doesn’t make much sense to me, usually a girl rejects me and then it takes us a while to get back to normal. Now, it seems things have changed but we’re actually closer now. I know this implies the “friend zone” but we’ve known each other for two months and she could spend time talking to friends closer to her. Does anyone else understand my confusion?


    Felix12
    Participant
    October 19, 2016 at 5:13 pm #114687

    I totally get what you’re talking about and I’ve had a very similar experience. I would say that one of two things is possible. First, there’s a possibility that she regrets rejecting you and isn’t sure if it was the right decision. She may still have her feelers out to see if a relationship would be a good idea. The other possibility is that she feels guilty about rejecting you and is trying to make up for it by talking with you a lot. Given what you’ve said so far I can’t really tell which of these it would be, but I wish you luck in figuring it out!


    Wanderer11
    Participant
    October 19, 2016 at 5:51 pm #114704

    I would ask her to explain herself. Plain and simple.

    “Hey, just curious. Seems like we’re talking a lot lately and…” you get the idea.


    Df5m
    Participant
    October 20, 2016 at 11:38 pm #114827

    Nope it was about random stuff @transform yourself, no real problems talked about. Our days, life, etc, no problems being expressed. Although you still may be right, who knows – i clearly don’t.


    johno3000
    Participant
    October 24, 2016 at 8:03 am #114996

    It is really hard to figure out what other people are thinking/feeling to the point where it really isn’t worth wasting your time over in situations like this. Her behaviour is basically just really confusing which is unfair to you.

    You have a couple of options in my opinion::

    -Without acting desperate or being too overbearing just hang out with her and escalate / try to kiss her or whatever as if you hadn’t been rejected and let the chips fall where they may.

    -Alternatively just forget about her and find other girls.

    You decide.

    1peep1
    1peep1
    Participant
    October 24, 2016 at 7:54 pm #115141

    I would ask her to explain herself. Plain and simple.

    “Hey, just curious. Seems like we’re talking a lot lately and…” you get the idea.

    ^ this seems like a good idea though it is usually easier said then done though persistence is key 🙂


    mysticphantom15
    Participant
    October 25, 2016 at 9:06 am #115167

    Not sure, I just would play it cool and not push asking about a relationship for a while.


    Df5m
    Participant
    October 25, 2016 at 2:37 pm #115266
    Reply To: Does she really want to be friends?

    I want to thank you guys for all of the fantastic advice. I’m not totally sure if I’m necessarily “moving on” so much as that I’m going to mentally think of her as a really good friend of mine, just to make sure we’re on equal ground. I don’t really think that she knows that she’s being confusing and I’m going to go with what she says despite what she does. She is a good person who I would do well to remain friends with, and even if I wanted to erase her from my life I’m in a situation where I really can’t.

    And Prash, I’d love to read some of those things if you’d like to send them my way.