Does she want friendship or something more?

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Does she want friendship or something more?

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  • ShyGuyJames
    Participant
    August 21, 2016 at 9:51 am #108990
    Does she want friendship or something more?

    Okay, this post is going to be long-winded, so I appreciate anyone willing to read. Basically, I’ve recently started getting to know this girl in my social group and we’ve become quite close. I met her over two and a half years ago, but I’ve only gotten the guts to start talking to her about a year ago while trying to work on my social anxiety.

    Anyway, I’ve noticed signs of interest from her pretty much since I’ve met her. Like me, she is shy and tends to shut down in large social environments. But she often enjoys talking to me, keeping strong eye contact and smiling. She’ll often talk about future plans (such as a class we should take together, going hiking during the fall while it’s summer, etc.), I’ll catch her staring at me wherever I am in the room, she sits next to me, rarely initiates conversation though keeps it going, asks lots of questions, and shares a lot about her personal life (family, depression, greatest fear). I feel like a girl wouldn’t share this with any guy.


    ShyGuyJames
    Participant
    August 21, 2016 at 10:03 am #108991

    From what I know, she doesn’t ever date and has trouble trusting men, which is a good sign for me. For example, a random guy touched her while we were drinking and she flipped out, coming closer to me, probably because she feels safe with me. She’s open to my touch (the few times I’ve initiated) and tends to walk close enough to me to accidentally touch me.

    Also, I’ve noticed several other signs of interest: jealousy when I told our mutual friend a secret about a girl I was seeing, applying makeup in solo hangouts, wants me to meet her friends and family, she remembers all the small details I make in passing, tries to insert herself in conversations with mutual friends, is willing to hang out solo, makes the effort to reschedule whenever she cancels plans, texts back almost instantly, and a few others.


    ShyGuyJames
    Participant
    August 22, 2016 at 8:49 am #108992

    Anyway, recently she found out from me that I have feelings for her (no, I didn’t blurt it out), but she never admitted the same or tried to let me down gently. All she said was that she really enjoys my company and that she didn’t want me to feel upset about the last time she cancelled our plans (in a long-winded series of messages). Since then, nothing has changed. We still talk as often and hang out solo with the same frequency. There was no awkward period after she found out.

    This leads to my question. Due to circumstances in her life, I’m unsure if she’s looking for a relationship. She never talks about guys she’s interested in, nor does she refer to me as just a friend. And yet, we’ve gotten closer since she found out. Does it sound like she’s interested in a relationship or will be in the near future? What do you all think? I think I need a few extra opinions.


    ShyGuyJames
    Participant
    August 22, 2016 at 8:49 am #108994

    Okay, this site doesn’t seem to be responding. Basically, she knows I’m interested but hasn’t treated me any differently since finding out. In fact, we’ve grown ever closer. Does it sound like she’s interested in pursuing a relationship?


    lxwz
    Participant
    August 23, 2016 at 7:24 am #109119

    Hey James… I am in the exact same situation as you, except I am the female. I think this is generally a super confusing situation that most people would not know what to make heads or tails of. How did you tell her you were interested in her? And are younabsolutely positive your message was clear? I attempted to do the same thing, but realized afterwards that maybe it wasn’t as clear as I thought it was. He never responded to it either. He hasn’t treated me any differently either. I think, if you haven’t already, ask her if she’s seeing anyone. If you know she’s not, then just ask her out. I am shy with the guy I like and the guy I like is shy with me too. If he asked me out I would be jumping up and down inside, but calmly say yes or sure. I’m pretty sure he’d be relieved if I asked him out, but neither of us can seem to g the balls to do it.
    Judging by the fact that she responded to you by telling you she enjoys your company, etc… I think she likes you and wants to get to know


    lxwz
    Participant
    August 23, 2016 at 7:28 am #109120

    You better as a person. The least you can do is suck it up and ask her out. If she likes you, she will say yes. If she doesn’t she will say no or possibly put it off. If she puts it off, let go of her. Either way, you won’t waste time fretting about someone who you could have been spending this time getting to know much better or fretting about someone, when there might have been someone better for you whom you did not notice because this other girl took up your mind. Just ask her out… and move forward.


    lxwz
    Participant
    August 23, 2016 at 7:29 am #109121

    🙂 best wishes


    Jimbo2227
    Participant
    August 23, 2016 at 8:36 pm #109359

    Ask her out, nothing to lose!