Does she want me or a just a friend?

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Does she want me or a just a friend?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    z5025
    Participant
    January 28, 2013 at 5:29 pm #21457
    Does she want me or a just a friend?

    Long story short… met her in college while she had a boyfriend. Boyfriend cheated, so she ended their 3.5 year relationship. She starts talking to me a lot, and we end up hanging out a few times. We even go to sleep cuddling together on a few occasions. I’m fairly shy, so she ends up calling me weird because I don’t kiss her. Every time we have kissed, she was the initiator. She is obviously physically attracted to me. She breaks things off with me, claiming she was still emotionally dealing with her break-up. I’m assuming that me being “Mr. no moves” didn’t help. She also called me too nice at one point… made me think, “you just broke up with a jerk because he cheated on you. why wouldn’t you give a nice guy a chance?”

    A few months go by with a little bit of contact (a few times a week via text), and I stop contacting her altogether around month four. She ends up texting me a good bit, just catching up it seems. A few weeks later, the texts from get a little flirtatious. Mainly talking about me going over to her place or her coming over to my place for the night to warm up when she is cold.

    Finally, a week after all of that (this past weekend) she ends up starting a conversation with me that leads to her spending the night at my place. We just watched a few movies, talked a lot, laughed and maybe flirted a little. I noticed that she had a hard time keeping eye contact with me. We end up going to sleep with her facing away from me in my arms. The next morning she seems to have an even harder time keeping eye contact with me even though we did goof around and flirt a little. I then took her back to her place, gave her a hug, and said that we should get together again soon. She replies with, “sure” and quickly closes the door.

    There may be more to all this than I am seeing, but I have it narrowed down to two possibilities in my mind.
    1. She just sees me as a friend now. She had a hard time keeping eye contact because she probably knew that I wanted more and she was quick to leave the car because she was upset with herself for staying the night. (kind of doesn’t make sense to me because she is essentially the one who made it happen)
    2. She is finally over her breakup and realizes that she does really like me. She had a hard time keeping eye contact with me because she was either nervous or wanted me to show her that I want her by being the one to initiate the kiss this time. She was quick to leave the car because she was upset that I didn’t reach out and make a move.

    I know that is a lot to read, sorry. If you need more details, I would be happy to give them. Maybe someone can relate or give me some sound advice on how to proceed so I don’t lose her.


    coryhopps
    Participant
    February 6, 2013 at 10:40 am #21974

    She was obviously looking for a rebound the first time. The most recent time, when she didn’t look at you when she left, it was probably because she’s not used to being rejected. She’s looking for a hook up and since you didn’t take advantage of her vulnerability the first round, she came back to you the second time to see what you would do next.

    Ask her what she’s looking for, she honestly probably doesn’t know but at least you’ll get an idea so you know what to do the next time she’s rubbin up on you.