Don't Know How to Fix This

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Don't Know How to Fix This

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Jb1993
    Participant
    January 27, 2018 at 2:19 am #163587
    Don't Know How to Fix This

    My husband and I have been married for going on three years. Together a total of going on five. He’s a top (and was quite the manho before we met), I was versatile when we originally met and had not long been out of another long-term relationship. Things were great between us at first, except for the sex. Initially we had a hard time… coordinating. Frankly, he was too “big” and neither of us had discovered the wonders of silicone based lubricants yet. So that put a strain on our sex life. Though we did keep trying, and eventually it worked. Until I developed health problems that prevent me from bottoming as much as I would like to, and he doesn’t bottom at all (he has once or twice for me, but that was it). So, we decided on having threesomes where we could both “top.” That quickly became an issue of us not having similar tastes in guys. So, that evolved into an open relationship — and we recently shut the door on that. Largely due to my jealousy and insecurity. (1/2)


    Jb1993
    Participant
    January 27, 2018 at 2:23 am #163588

    (2/2) He stopped trying to have sex with me at all. Lost all interest in me, it seemed. The most we’d talk about was bills or him wanting to move. So, I kind of pulled the plug on the whole open relationship thing. We had a talk and we started having sex a little more often, and he’s actually instigating it again every once in a while. However, the guys he was talking to (Kik, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, etc.) continue to message him and he kinda blows it off unless I directly ask him to tell them to stop. He also violated a rule we had and slept with friends… so now it feels like everyone has slept with my husband. And I really want to fix US, but I can’t help feeling regretful of the whole open thing. I also know he has a MUCH higher sex drive than I do, and has told me before he gets “bored” with the same sex over and over. So, part of me knows I’m denying this from him and forcing him into monogamy. We’re moving back to my hometown next month to get a bit of a (1/2)


    Jb1993
    Participant
    January 29, 2018 at 8:59 am #163589

    fresh start. I feel like him being separated from this life and the guys he’s slept with will help us, but I can’t help feeling like I’m just extending the inevitable here. I love him and I think he loves me, but I don’t know how to fix any of this truly. Any similar experiences or advice would be very much appreciated!