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ninjalewisParticipantFebruary 27, 2014 at 9:50 am #48514
Hi everyone, so I’ve been seeing this girl for about 3 weeks now. She says she really likes me but she said she doesn’t know what she wants. I talked to her last night and she told me she went out to eat with another guy, so we talked about it, she told me she really likes me and doesn’t want to lose me and she says she wants me to wait for her until she figures out what she wants, and she still wants to do stuff with her. What should I do? Should I wait for her or should I give her a time frame? I’m lost and I’ve never been thru this before. Any advise is welcome.
secretagentmanParticipantFebruary 28, 2014 at 3:29 pm #48604
You need to move on as if she’s not in your life. Take time to be single or make an effort to meet/date other girls. It’s completely unfair, and frankly disrespectful, for this girl to ask or expect you to wait for her. So you’re just supposed to twiddle your thumbs while she dates around??? What if in 3 months she tells you she met the love of her life? If she truly doesn’t want to lose you, then she needs to behave as if that’s the case. Going out with other guys doesn’t accomplish that AT ALL. It’s one thing for her to say she likes you, and wants to continue getting to know you, but isn’t ready to be exclusive. That’s called open and honest communication. Asking you to “wait around” is manipulative.
alex@NextRSHIPParticipantMarch 3, 2014 at 4:35 pm #48718
You shouldn’t waste your life waiting for someone to make up their mind. They are using you as a backup option just in case their first option doesn’t work out.
Honestly you should focus on yourself and not worry about her. It’s only been 3 weeks and trust me, you’ll be over her soon enough when you keep yourself occupied.
Like the old saying goes, Don’t be someone’s priority if you’re only an option.
AnonymousMarch 4, 2014 at 1:16 am #48764
Good advice alex@NextRSHIP
No one is entitled to be an option for somebody who is not sure of what she/he really wants, not right to keep someone waiting while they are screwing the person up… It is much easier to say NO if it’s a NO and yes if it’s a yes, someone must know how to made up their mind.
ninjalewisParticipantApril 11, 2014 at 6:08 pm #48641
Thank you. I will talk to her and see what she really wants
alex@NextRSHIPParticipantApril 11, 2014 at 6:09 pm #48781
Thank you dizzyprincess.
If she’s unsure but still wants to keep you around, she’ll continue to do that.
pbx39ParticipantApril 11, 2014 at 6:11 pm #49042
I still think it takes courage to be honest and admit that sometimes we just not sure what we want at the time
azureorbParticipantApril 11, 2014 at 6:12 pm #49101
If it’s been 3 weeks and still “doesn’t know what she wants” — she’s not that into you. At best, at that point you could generate some potential interest into Real interest — but you’d “risk” cutting things off right then and there… which you do need to do, despite what your fragile emotions say.
Again, it hasn’t been 3 days. 3 weeks. Come on. Don’t be “that guy” who hangs around waiting for her interest to suddenly appear. It’s not. At best, you’ll see glimpses of “up”, but over the next week or so, in the end, it will have only gone down.
Fish or cut bait — otherwise, you’re just torturing yourself.
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