Don't know what to do, bad timing with a great girl.

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Don't know what to do, bad timing with a great girl.

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    January 13, 2016 at 7:14 am #91484
    Don't know what to do, bad timing with a great girl.

    I met a girl back in September in a college class, and while we didn’t talk often back then, we partnered up in class.
    Sometime around late October she started coming out of her shell around me, and we started to text and hang out outside of class quite frequently.
    In December is where we really started spending a lot of time together, she’d drive me to college a few times because my car is garbage, going out to movies, and a show. And while we were hanging out it was awesome, she was always smiling and laughing, she was deeply invested in whatever stupid conversation we were having, and she always said she had a great time hanging out with me.
    The more time we spent together the more vibes I was getting that she was into me.
    So around new years I thought I’d ask her out, and led into it with “are you seeing anybody?” which she replied to with “yes I’m in a relationship.” So I quickly backtracked.
    We texted in a group the week after, and I tried texting her friday, no response.

    January 13, 2016 at 7:20 am #91485

    Continued:
    I don’t know what to do now. I figured I’d just stay platonic friends, and maybe if there was an opportunity in the future, I’d take it.
    This whole situation just feels like awful timing, because whenever she was around me she was always a little nervous, always smiling, and whenever I glanced at her in class she was smiling and blushing.
    I don’t know anything about her boyfriend, he hasn’t come up in the months I’ve known her. I don’t know how serious it is, or how long the relationship has been around.
    And like I said, its been 13 days since new years. The week after I texted her as part of a group of friends, and she responded like normal, in like 5-10 minutes and we briefly joked and such.
    Then a couple days ago I just texted her as usual, but instead of the normal response, I got nothing, which another female friend of mine translated as “shes probably confused” which I don’t understand.

    I desperately need advice as I don’t want her out of my life.


    camy313
    Participant
    January 13, 2016 at 5:10 pm #91575

    She knows for sure you are into her but maybe she only thinks of you as a friend! Try and hang out some more,maybe you might get a chance to either get to know her better or maybe she’s just a fling and you’ll get off the idea

    January 14, 2016 at 9:18 am #91546

    try to call her
    or meet her in person

    Any recommendations on how to go about this?
    Our schedules are horribly different so I don’t get to see her on campus, or anything like that.

    January 14, 2016 at 5:44 pm #91704

    I attempted to contact her again, still nothing. I have absolutely no idea what in the fucks happening anymore.
    I’ve gotten all the advice I can, and the more I hear the worse off I feel.
    Everything from “she likes you, and is confused, talk to her” to “wait a month, and then try again.” The entire range of advices, and opinions.


    Anonymous
    January 14, 2016 at 8:34 pm #91705

    A few things you may want to consider and think about. I am wondering why she spent so much time with you if she already had a boyfriend. Usually couples hang out together, they don’t hang out and develop relationships with the opposite sex by themselves. Had you been good friends prior to her having a boyfriend, that would be different. So it makes me wonder what she was doing connecting, flirting and pulling you into her world AND misleading you!!! Not very honest of her! Nor very nice to you. She sounds like the kind of person who is more self serving than caring how her actions affect the person in front of her. She is also showing you that by not responding back to you. So either something horrible has happened to her or she is not interested in continuing to get to know you at this time.
    So my question to you is: WHAT MAKES YOU WANT TO FIGHT SO HARD FOR A GIRL THAT ISN’T FIGHTING FOR YOU BACK?? How about caring more about yourself and how you are treated than her!

    January 14, 2016 at 11:48 pm #91712

    I am wondering why she spent so much time with you if she already had a boyfriend.

    I haven’t a single clue, besides that we got along incredibly well.

    Honestly, she is one of the nicest, funniest, and kindest people I’ve ever met.
    She treated me great. If I needed something she was the first to offer help, and she seemed to really care about me when we spent time together.

    January 14, 2016 at 11:50 pm #91713

    So my question to you is: WHAT MAKES YOU WANT TO FIGHT SO HARD FOR A GIRL THAT ISN’T FIGHTING FOR YOU BACK?? How about caring more about yourself and how you are treated than her!

    Honestly, she is one of the nicest, funniest, and kindest people I’ve ever met.
    She treated me great. If I needed something she was the first to offer help, and she seemed to really care about me when we spent time together.


    TheOne
    Participant
    January 15, 2016 at 1:59 pm #91779
    Reply To: Don't know what to do, bad timing with a great girl.

    Go for it!


    confusedmomma
    Participant
    January 17, 2016 at 3:06 am #91790
    Reply To: Don't know what to do, bad timing with a great girl.

    Im wondering if maybe her an her boyfriend were having issues and when you guys spent time together she started to develope feelings for you and when she realized you started liking her back she got scared because of already being in a relationship and then having feelings for another man just give her space and if you run into her at school then see how she acts just say hi and see what she does if she comes to you its meant to be other then that just live life and see what it brings you.

    January 19, 2016 at 10:00 pm #91882
    Reply To: Don't know what to do, bad timing with a great girl.

    Im wondering if maybe her an her boyfriend were having issues and when you guys spent time together she started to develope feelings for you and when she realized you started liking her back she got scared because of already being in a relationship and then having feelings for another man just give her space and if you run into her at school then see how she acts just say hi and see what she does if she comes to you its meant to be other then that just live life and see what it brings you.

    I don’t know if I’d feel better or worse if this is right.
    On the one hand it would mean that she does reciprocate feelings, on the other I’m just some other guy she’s stringing along like some kind of backup.

    January 20, 2016 at 11:20 pm #91930
    Reply To: Don't know what to do, bad timing with a great girl.

    The feeling I am getting is that she feels guilty because she knows you are a good guy, worthy of having a girl into him, but she does not want to lose your friendship or lead you on, and there is a high probability the relationship is a safety wall meant to be put between you two in order to enable you to continue your relationship as is without risk of it moving to a point she’d have to be put in a position where she felt uncomfortable turning you down.

    If her relationship were some barrier so that she wouldn’t have to date me but stay friends with me, wouldn’t that imply she’d stay friends with me instead of giving me the cold shoulder?
    this part seems off to me.

    January 25, 2016 at 2:41 pm #92090
    Reply To: Don't know what to do, bad timing with a great girl.

    Well, I guess this is a pretty dead thread, so I’ll update my final thoughts.
    I saw her at school a couple days ago, I don’t know if she noticed me but it seemed like she was trying not to look my way.
    I guess since there is a hundred ways to interpret her actions, there isn’t a good answer to any of my questions.
    If she does like me, but doesn’t want to ruin her relationship, its just awful timing.
    And if she doesn’t like me then thats that. If its something else, I dont know.
    So I guess the only thing I really can do is… nothing.
    Maybe she’ll contact me down the line, but that shit only happens in movies so I really shouldn’t hold my breathe. Its much more likely that if she does become single she’ll forget all about me, and thats the way of things.