Dont know where i stand

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Dont know where i stand

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2017 at 10:33 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    cheeks
    Participant
    January 11, 2017 at 10:20 am #122567
    Dont know where i stand

    I met this girl through mutual friends for literally 2 minutes, i mentioned that i really fancied her to friends and likewise she did about me. She then contacted me and we were messaging a lot and flirting for a couple of days before meeting up just for a quick drink. We hit it off amazingly and after just the hour together we were all over each other when we got to our cars. We then messaged a lot and flirting for a couple more days after then she says she thinks i like her to much even though she had been texting similar flirty messages? Now she still messages but not often and not flirty but she has got to resit work exams which i know is true and she is busy studying. Should i message her at all or just totally cool it with her?


    SOS1999
    Participant
    January 11, 2017 at 11:22 am #122601

    You should back off and let her come to you. Maybe even go on other dates to keep yourself busy – and to remind her that you’re desirable!


    winona93
    Participant
    January 11, 2017 at 6:38 pm #122701

    Back off if she is busy…


    nataliallyons
    Participant
    January 12, 2017 at 5:21 am #122707

    Be cool. No need to be anxious.


    cheeks
    Participant
    January 12, 2017 at 10:47 am #122750

    thanks for the advice, my cousin also said the same so I left her too it and the last day or so she has messaged me and showed more of her softer side lol.


    cheeks
    Participant
    January 16, 2017 at 8:55 am #123087

    Right well things took a turn for the worse, got a text off her 11pm on the 14th jan saying she doesn’t think we should see each other that way as she would be wasting my time, I played it cool and just said ok but thought we got on well, she text back saying yeah we do but I cant see anything in it, I then responded saying I thought it was about having fun, go with the flow and see what happens. I can only presume shes having second thoughts due to me being 12 years older and with 2 kids which she new about through mutual friends before she made the initial contact?

    carol1973
    carol1973
    Participant
    January 16, 2017 at 9:20 am #123097

    It sounds like she likes you, but is possibly not at the same stage in life as you. It sounds as if you want different things. You should move on.


    cheeks
    Participant
    January 16, 2017 at 11:57 am #123146

    yeah I am thinking that carol1973. Its just odd she instigated it knowing my age and two kids things, why bother in the first place. I’m just a bit gutted because there was a massive attraction both physically and mentally instantly when we met which ive never really had in the past with girls I have just met


    needadvicedc10
    Participant
    January 16, 2017 at 9:31 pm #123229

    Going through the same thing right now, but she told you straight up you should see other people. Radio silence for a while and maybe she comes back. Sorry bro, hang in there.


    cheeks
    Participant
    January 17, 2017 at 3:46 am #123243
    Reply To: Dont know where i stand

    Going through the same thing right now, but she told you straight up you should see other people. Radio silence for a while and maybe she comes back. Sorry bro, hang in there.

    Yeah ive not messaged her since as she has a works exam next Tuesday so just hanging back

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    January 18, 2017 at 9:48 pm #123599
    Reply To: Dont know where i stand

    yeah dial it back. she has consistnetly said “you like her too much” and “we shouldn’t be this involved” essentially. so the MORE you do, the less success you will have. which means the LESS that you do, the more she’ll come to you (you’ve ALSO already seen this happen).

    so play it cool. focus on you and having a kick ass and fun life yourself without her. over time if she wants more she’ll come along for the ride. see and treat her as “just a friend” going forward and we’ll then see what her true feelings are. if they are truly to “just be friends with you” no problem. why? because females have other female friends 🙂 so the more female friends we can have who HAVE liked us and seen us IN THAT WAY, the more network we have to other females liek them that maybe we get introduced to. and being introdueced to a female by somebody that female trusts is pure gold and a fast track baby!


    cheeks
    Participant
    January 20, 2017 at 4:38 am #123850
    Reply To: Dont know where i stand

    Some good points made there richiro, cheers dude


    joego101
    Participant
    January 20, 2017 at 11:21 am #123903
    Reply To: Dont know where i stand

    Leave it for a couple of days, let her know your not too clingy and have her own space. Then just talk to her again, maybe don’t be as flirty and be more upfront with how you feel…

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    January 20, 2017 at 11:22 am #123904
    Reply To: Dont know where i stand

    my pleasure friend… good luck and enjoy. i’m pretty sure if you take it easy and dial it back, she’ll come on a bit stronger (it is almost universally true in any situation if there is interest on their part… if they fade away, it means they were neer going to ramp up with you).

    just have fun always my friend.
    stay and be in the moment and just enjoy it all.
    nothign is a negative or problem – everything is a blessing and positive.. (that mindset works wonders!!! trust me!)


    cheeks
    Participant
    January 30, 2017 at 4:06 am #124912
    Reply To: Dont know where i stand

    Well I think carol1973 was right, she has said she really likes me and is attracted to me but just doesn’t think it would work out, I do have 2 kids and am 12 years older, just don’t understand why she bothered contacting me in the first place as she knew this anyway