Feeling Disrespected


Feeling Disrespected

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    September 6, 2015 at 12:32 pm #85188
    Feeling Disrespected

    Been dating this guy for a little over 2 years. We are 22 and 21. The first year he was very good at taking me out to places, and cleaning up. He took me to church every morning which is very important to me. He has became very lazy and sloppy this recent year. I’ve been busy with nursing school, so of course I’ve had no time to talk to him about such issues. He’ll wear a t shirt and gym shorts anywhere we go, or a polo with gym shorts. He isn’t shaving anymore either. I get the concept that he’s comfortable with me…but that doesn’t mean he should become a slob. I’ve had a small talk with him about feeling unimportant since we never go out. His excuse is “What do you mean? I took you to [fast-food, or chain restaurant name here] last week.” He also never charges his phone, and sleeps in way later so I barely get any time with him unless it is at my house or his. How do I express myself without him getting upset?

    September 7, 2015 at 1:20 am #85214

    That happens to many couples in college, he Is probably taking you for granted. My cousin started getting like that (gaining weight) after he dated his girlfriend for like 5 years and once on a dinner she dropped a hint by simply saying, ” I miss that guy I met 5 years ago, he was sexy.” Then like magic he joined the gym, started eating healthier and hardly drinks sugary drinks… Sometimes we need a women to give us that jumpstart.

    September 7, 2015 at 2:22 am #85216

    My question to you is: are you taking HIM for granted as well? On occasions (which from your description they sound rare) when he does dress nicely or do something considerate for you, do you praise him? Or are you comfortable too? Typically people’s incentive for making an effort is to be recognized for having done so. For example, next time he takes you somewhere nice or dresses up in something not slob-like, jump his bones…give him something sexual you haven’t given him before. Then he might be receptive to shaving and not being a slob.