feelings

DATING ADVICE FORUM

feelings

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    slave2end
    Participant
    March 1, 2016 at 5:43 am #94679
    feelings

    been seeing a great guy (60) and me (53). we see each other every 2 weeks because of our schedules which is fine. he makes me laugh. he sent me a text saying that his frying pan missed me, which was I think his way of saying he misses breakfast with me. then when I was leaving one day he told me that he misses me. I was helping him with some personal stuff on his computer and he was not afraid to have his bank records showing. he has showed me pics of his kids and family and he took out the old pics when he was younger. he is very career minded and I love that. we try to fit into each others schedules. he makes me laugh, and is silly around me sometimes. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but I think he is falling for me. I am very guarded since my last relationship the guy cheated on me. I don’t want that to happen again and I am scared. I want to be with him more, but sometimes he just is so busy and has an autistic child. I found him on a dating site and I am confused.


    dkirin
    Participant
    March 1, 2016 at 5:44 pm #94741

    Have you spoken to him about your fears?


    nhlady
    Participant
    March 2, 2016 at 12:50 am #94756

    How long have you been seeing each other in this pattern? How open is the communication between you two?


    Anonymous
    March 2, 2016 at 1:54 am #94757

    I think you should have a normal talk with him ,told your question to him ,and ask his idea.


    slave2end
    Participant
    March 2, 2016 at 9:00 am #94773

    I am really confused. he has offered to take me on a trip to South Carolina to his beach house. we had lunch yesterday and everything seemed fine. I am afraid that maybe it is too early to have the TALK with him. he has medical issues so he has ED issues. he told me that he is willing to go to his doctor for me. I don’t know what to think. maybe I am the one that is scared that he will cheat on me.


    slave2end
    Participant
    March 2, 2016 at 9:00 am #94771

    no I have not, but he knows that I broke it off with my last boyfriend because I found him cheating on me


    slave2end
    Participant
    March 2, 2016 at 9:00 am #94772

    we met online back in may 2015 and talked on the phone and text messaged a lot. he is shy and when I wanted to meet in September, he backed off. 3 months later he sent me a text message saying he made a mistake and wanted to meet. we have been seeing each other since December. just odd that he is open with his computer. meaning he leaves his screens open but I did not ask or venture into looking into this dating site or asked him about it yet. we had lunch yesterday but I did not ask him about it.

    djames
    djames
    Participant
    March 2, 2016 at 4:22 pm #94845

    You need to be open. Leaving questions unanswered is never a good thing.

    laura
    laura
    Participant
    March 5, 2016 at 10:23 pm #95045
    Reply To: feelings

    ‘What is the rush…you can decide every day whether you want to see him or not…take it slow, have fun and see where it leads…and don’t listen to Desmond, I don’t care how old you are…you don’t have to settle…if it is not working out and he’s ‘not the one for you’ move on.
    Also, be respectful that he has an autistic son, that’s rough…are you up for the challenge?…can you support him in that area and understand his need to help his son? Good luck!


    slave2end
    Participant
    March 6, 2016 at 7:14 am #95064
    Reply To: feelings

    yes I understand everything about his son and have been helping him out with that. I just don’t understand how he can show me love and support and then just be so cold. the worse part is yesterday we had our first blow up. I caught him on a dating website and he said he was talking to 2 other women. I stated out of respect just let me know if you meet then (I know he will have sex with them) since I fear for my health. he told me I should be on a dating site too. I told him I am done with that and I am not going to be. so he told me to call him tomorrow when I was leaving and then he stated when I texted him later about what time since I didn’t want to interfere with his time with his son, he said he cant commit to a woman now, but if you look at his profile on the dating site, he says that is what he is looking for. I am so confused. he shows me everything that he cares about me and wants me and we talk about going on vacation..im done, im walking away from it. too much!

    laura
    laura
    Participant
    March 6, 2016 at 11:34 am #95068
    Reply To: feelings

    Sounds like the right choice. You don’t need him screwing up your head…BUT don’t give up…dating is a game of weeding out the ‘wrong guy’ until you find the right one…I think if he really liked you, he wouldn’t be “trolling” for more “fish” and since he is telling you to keep looking, his actions don’t match his words…move on…you deserve better!!!


    lost1003
    Participant
    March 7, 2016 at 3:24 am #95099
    Reply To: feelings

    Good for you! You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. He sounds like he knows how to charm and say/do the ‘right’ things to get to a woman’s heart. I guarantee any of the other women he’s met are or will be asking themselves the same questions you’ve asked. If a man doesn’t want to commit to one woman, he will always keep his options open….no matter their age. Certainly don’t listen to Desmond’s comment “Look, you are 53 this guy is as good as you can get.” No way is that ever true!


    slave2end
    Participant
    March 7, 2016 at 6:49 am #95114
    Reply To: feelings

    but how can a guy show me he cares, he spends quality time with me, does things for me……..is he being manipulative? knowing I will fall for it? Saturday before we got into talking we had the best sex ever. a side of him I never saw before. do you think it was a last hooray? but with his disabled son he did spend Saturday night and he posted pics of the two of them on facebook. he was crying because of his son and the issues with that. last night he posted a thank you for all the well wishes. I know what he is going through. I think he just had a melt down and they say you always hurt the ones you love. I think he lashed out at me because of too much going on in his life right at the moment. he has a ton on his plate. he owns a house and was renting it and the person moved out, did not pay last months rent, now he has to spend money to fix it up. he had major back surgery twice in the last 2 years. he always tells me he misses me. I finally told him Tuesday I missed him.


    slave2end
    Participant
    March 7, 2016 at 6:55 am #95115
    Reply To: feelings

    he also has not been on that dating site since we talked on Saturday. I don’t want to make excuses for him at all but I have been told by other people to keep seeing him because he is in to me but he doesn’t want to commit yet. yes it is early only 4 months and I did not ask for a commitment. men do not do things for a woman unless they cared and had interest in them. he has done little things for me. he even told me that he was willing to get Viagra just for me. i made a comment to him about something on his body and when i saw him next it was taken care of. guys do not do things just for the heck of it.


    swish
    Participant
    May 9, 2016 at 5:56 pm #100026
    Reply To: feelings

    Yes men do do things just for the heck of it..it’s your choice to make as far as seeing him..but if he’s still trolling on the dating website don’t think you are the only one he’s interested in..he controls whom he sees and when he sees them.. My experience with older guys is they are the absolute worst at manipulating and trying to control the situation.. It’s the heneration they where raised in..older men are the absolute worse on dating websites they play more games than you could ever imagine..so evaluate your situation with great care for your well being is the best I can tell you!