Fiancé mad because I had a conversation with a coworker/ex of a month

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Fiancé mad because I had a conversation with a coworker/ex of a month

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    heavensent1108
    Participant
    March 10, 2016 at 10:03 am #95374
    Fiancé mad because I had a conversation with a coworker/ex of a month

    In 31 and 6 months pregnant for my fiancé. We are in the process of buying our first home together and everything has been going great. I have an ex of about a month, which honestly meant nothing we both realized we weren’t for each other and ended things and became friends. The friend has been really sick and was diagnosed with a terminal illness. So once every few weeks I’ll message him at work to see how he is feeling and he will do the same to check on my pregnancy. We literally converse maybe 5 minutes every 3 weeks to a month. If we see each other in passing at work we say hello. Honestly, it’s nothing major and we never took it to a sexual level.
    So yesterday was one of those days. We msged back and forth and I told him about our new home. Last night, when I went to bed my fiancé went on my work laptop and saw the conversation. He woke up mad at me and telling me he can’t trust me. We havent talked about not talking to exes. Am i wrong or is he exaggerating?


    Green2711
    Participant
    March 10, 2016 at 11:48 am #95386

    Did the messages have anything flirtatious that would make him become suspicious? Even if they didn’t usually talking to an ex will set off alarm bells for a guy, I personally wouldn’t mind if he is truly terminally ill but I sure would be jealous and have a seed of doubt in my mind. Have you explained the situation to him? It would have probably have been best to just ask this guy at work rather than message him just to avoid this situation but hindsight helps no one. He will probably be thinking that he is your future and the ex is your past so why are you chatting to him he’ll obviously think something is going on. The best thing you can do is talk to him and assure him that you are just friends and if he is still not ok with it then stop talking to the ex because I know it is sad what has happened to him but you have a child on the way and your partner and your child should be the most important thing in your life right now.


    heavensent1108
    Participant
    March 11, 2016 at 9:31 am #95400

    He knows the guy is sick and even told me we should pray for him. Nothing flirtatious at all. Unless talking about pregnancy pain and the newest rounds of meds he is on has a secret meaning. My fiancé also works with me. We are on the same team, sit by each other, take lunch together and breaks together. So this other guy means NOTHING in the grand scheme. I don’t even have this guys number nor does he have mine.

    We also had a conversation a few months back that it’s ok for me to converse with this person because it’s not a threat. If my fiancé and I ended things tomorrow this other guy would still just be a friend. Someone i may say hello to in the halls and converse with once a month if that. If I left my company me and this person wouldn’t talk but might possibly run into each other at social events!

    My fiancé and I talk all the time! We have very open communication so the msg on my computer shouldn’t be an issue. I could have closed it out if I wanted to hide it!


    Green2711
    Participant
    March 13, 2016 at 12:40 am #95494

    Well then your fella is clearly overreacting, it’s been 3 days since you posted this, have things gotten any better? Although you said in your first post that you haven’t talked about speaking to ex’s and then in your last post you said you had a discussion with him that it is fine to talk to him, am I missing something?


    coldturkey
    Participant
    March 15, 2016 at 7:10 pm #95757

    It looks like you have discovered your finacee’s jealousy streak…which is just now beginning. This is something that you can’t fix. He is being a jerk but it sounds to me that he’s had this jealous streak that is only now coming to the forefront. To me..this doesn’t sound like someone you should be marrying.If he is getting upset about this..then what else will he get upset about in the future??