Friend Zoned?

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Friend Zoned?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    133
    Participant
    April 19, 2016 at 9:59 pm #98182
    Friend Zoned?

    I met this beautiful girl through my best friend, its his girlfriend’s roommate. We connected phenomenally! After about two weeks we made arrangements to go on a double date. The plan was dinner and bowling. After dinner we went to the alley but it was closed. So we stopped at a house of a friends. When we went to leave a guy who was drinking called the girl I was with out for ignoring him recently. (He’s not the greatest guy in girls eyes.) He put my lady friend on the spot and it flustered her. I saw and took her side and simply said, “Get the hint man.” We then left and I went back to her room. While there she received a snapchat from him trying to get her to meet up with him. I suggested she send one with me back, she did and saved the picture to her phone. The next day she came to hangout with me, he then again snapchatted her asking to hangout. She said no she was with me. I was kind of bothered about this so I said, “Here I’ll put you on my snapchat story so he gets the hint.”


    133
    Participant
    April 19, 2016 at 10:05 pm #98183

    She kind of seemed shy towards this. Anyhow it lead to a very long night with some intimacy. (no sex) She seemed very into me up until this time. She stated she liked me and that she was a guy she could see herself dating. Anyhow the next couple days her attitude changed. Then she hit me out of the blue with a text stating, “we should slow things down, were moving to fast lets start off as friends.” I agreed. Then a little later I asked her why. She stated something along the lines of, “how I was acting towards this guy made her feel like a prize, like I was just trying to rub her into him, and that she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.” I totally understand this, it makes sense. She made sure she stated multiple times that we remain friends, kind of more than one would expect, she even said she would get coffee or study with me “as friends.” Anyhow after this I went a week with no contact, tried to give her space. Then I hit her up and she replied and we had a long conversation


    133
    Participant
    April 19, 2016 at 10:19 pm #98184

    Then the other time I hit her up, she did not reply. She wasn’t much of a texter in the past, she is very focused on her education. But I guess my question is should I just forget this girl? OR try to be friends and maybe send her a sorry text letting her know I was thinking about my mistake and understand what hurt her. Or just ignore it and try to be friends? Any ideas? I have met alot of girls lately and pursued very few of them. This girl seemed to be different to me. That’s why I tried to pursue her and is why I am bummed about the outcome. Any advice to make amends? She usually doesn’t give guys a chance, and she receives alot of attention due to her looks, but in all honesty I’m interested in her because of the person she is. And also I am one of the few guys she did give a chance… Or should I just forget this girl? I really liked the girl I knew, and she seemed interested in me also. Thanks!


    confusedmale
    Participant
    April 20, 2016 at 10:43 am #98202

    I have been trying to “date” a girl “friend” for almost three years now. I think once a woman considers you a friend you will always be a friend. However, I recommend you do what I am doing…and that is keep trying. Especially if you feel that there is a chance for a long term relationship. ***Do not get to the point of being stalker-like. If she ever comes right out and says “friends only” then you should back off.


    kharaud99
    Participant
    April 20, 2016 at 4:24 pm #98257

    I think she is up for it mate. Keep going at it, take her out properly to a fancy place, and she will realise that you want to be more than mates.


    Kdawg172
    Participant
    April 20, 2016 at 11:29 pm #98277

    I have been trying to get with this girl this last july but i am in the friend zone and cant get out it sucks


    alpha1990
    Participant
    April 20, 2016 at 11:42 pm #98279

    Look up “The Action Illusion” basically men tend to think we have to do stuff to progress all the time, it’s in our nature. You were on the right track giving her the distance she wanted, she was clearly testing you to see how you responded to it, to see how “needy” you are. She wants a man, but as that other guy proved to you not a overbearing dickhead. Be confident enough to KNOW not think, KNOW that she will be there later. Just keep being polite, but let her chase you for a little while, and for God sakes don’t apologize. Not because of arrogance, rather because you haven’t done anything wrong. Bottom line: Give her that space, let her initiate all conversations for a while. And try to make yourself less available so she values and looks forward to dates.

    Her- “Why haven’t you talked to me lately?”
    You- “If you only knew how busy I’ve been.

    See how that goes bro. And anyone can get out of the friend zone, just politely stop being a friend, and act like you hadn’t noticed.


    133
    Participant
    April 21, 2016 at 1:57 am #98284

    I wish I would have seen your reply before tonight alpha1990 lol. But anyway I messaged her about some irrelevant info and asked to talk about it. We got together for about a half hour and talked. Before I left I just said “I hope with the past we can move on and be cool about things. Looking back I understand why you were hurt by this, but I have reasons for doing so.” I then said sorry for giving her the wrong first impression of me. She said she “Honestly really appreciated what I said, and that we are good, not to worry about the past” Then I asked to get coffee sometime and she happily agreed. We ended the convo thereafter. I found out through her roomate that she was hanging out with some guy/guys tonight because she asked her to come along too. So I’m not sure if in the week and a half of me laying low if she became interested within someone else or what, but I honestly cannot be mad at her for such. We had a fallout, now I just need to rebuild my standings and show her my true


    133
    Participant
    April 21, 2016 at 1:58 am #98285

    colors. I think if I do so I’ll have a chance with her. When I take her for coffee should I make advancements? Or just take it slow like we are friends?


    dbizzle84
    Participant
    April 21, 2016 at 12:28 pm #98327
    Reply To: Friend Zoned?

    Mate, dont kid yourself! you want more then friends from this girl. I agree with alphas comments. You have nothing to apologize for; you sound like a good guy with morals who doesnt deserve to be jerked about!

    Maybe give her a bit of space: (easier said then done granted!) and let her wonder about you; distract yourself by focusing on other things like your work/studies and having fun.

    Good luckk!


    133
    Participant
    April 21, 2016 at 12:54 pm #98335
    Reply To: Friend Zoned?

    Lol, your right I am kidding myself. I just don’t want to get too focused on her. I think a past relationship was overcontrolling/protective to her so she backed off/ wanted to slow down at the first sign of something similar. But I think she still has interest in me, when I talked her yesterday, she had really open and almost interested body language. But I agree with the space thing, I already went a week where I didn’t talk to her then lately I reinitiated brief contact. But now I don’t plan on trying to talk to her through text or snapchat unless I’m setting up a meeting between the two of us. One thing though, when she was “openly into me” she never would text first, her roomate confirmed that to me, she just doesn’t do that sort of thing I guess haha. It’s frustraing but shes not the first girl I’ve met like that. But I’m sure if she is interested in me and with enough time she will break her habits 😉 Sorry if I seem over focused with this girl. I have had many oppertunitys


    133
    Participant
    April 21, 2016 at 12:56 pm #98337
    Reply To: Friend Zoned?

    with others, but this girl is different. At this point in my life I don’t need a girl just to fill my voids. I have friends, class, college athletics, and work to do that haha. Just this girl was someone who I felt like we could have a solid relationship. Thanks for everything guys.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by  133.