Friends with benefits?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Friends with benefits?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Grace916
    Participant
    August 20, 2014 at 9:55 pm #59762
    Friends with benefits?

    Do friends with benefits relationships ever work? I started off emotionally attached and seeking a relationship, found out that he isn’t looking for a commitment but is interested in me which is something I’ve never gone for before. We ended up cuddling and I stayed the night last night, but I’m worried that my feelings are going to creep back in and that they might have already come back.


    Chessuly
    Participant
    August 20, 2014 at 10:36 pm #59763

    You need to tell him how you feel. If he is just using you, I wouldn’t count on a relationship starting.


    diva820
    Participant
    August 20, 2014 at 11:31 pm #59766

    This type of relationship can work if both parties are in agreement. That doesn’t stop feelings from forming and committed relationships established, but it sounds like he already stated that he didn’t want a relationship so it may be wise not to have any expectations. If you do show feelings, be prepared that his fallback response will always be “but I told you I didn’t want a relationship.” So now you have to determine if YOU are okay with being in a FWB relationship (and if so, don’t have any expectations from him).

    funnygirl123
    funnygirl123
    Participant
    August 21, 2014 at 7:56 am #59772

    It is okay to admit that you are not ready for this kind of thing if you have feelings for him. As diva820 said, you need to be ready for this arrangement. Usually, this can end up with someone getting hurt because they developed feeling for the other person that were not reciprocated. Just a suggestion: think before you go too deep into this. Do you want to be hurt like that?

    Good Luck, Darling. Take care of yourself. XP

    tuna1987
    tuna1987
    Participant
    August 21, 2014 at 12:01 pm #59784

    that could be a problem because if you’re dating someone else , your friend might be jealous


    annette
    Participant
    August 23, 2014 at 10:50 am #59881

    If you have feelings CUT OFF CONTACT!! I know it’s hard, (been there) but it will save you a lot of heartache! He has made it clear to you what he actually wants and needs form you and that doesn’t include your feelings!

    Guys aren’t like women. Guys think sex is just sex whereas women attach it to an emotional/psychological experience! So of course if you’re physical with him you are going to develop feelings! Just know that what you’re feeling for him isn’t what he’s feeling for you! You deserve a guy that wants your mind, body and soul! (Not to be cheesy, but you’re not JUST a physical being without a spiritual essence! All of these, especially in women, have to be equally satisfied!)

    All best sweetie! You deserve the best!


    grover12
    Participant
    August 23, 2014 at 5:24 pm #59888

    Friends with benefits do not work if their is feelings involved. Get out now you are only going to get yourself hurt.


    Me by the bay
    Participant
    August 23, 2014 at 10:27 pm #59892

    Hi Grace916!

    I actually had an on and off again, 6 year relationship, with a man that ended up as my FWB’s partner for @ the last 2 years of the relationship. The sex was great and filled this need for both of us. We also went out to dinner, movies and traveled together on his dime, which he was completely amenable to. I will always thank him for his generosity and partnership during these times. We openly discussed this arrangement and promised each other that if we became intimate with another person we would tell the other person and then give them the option to leave our FWB arrangement. This actually happened for my FWB partner and I pulled out of the intimate portion of the relationship, but have remained good friends with him. I actually acted as a friend/confidant during this relationship since his girlfriend ended up going crazy and eventually dying from cancer. I can say that I agree with all of the comments above. Some good advice here for you.