Friends.. With benefits?

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Friends.. With benefits?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    winel0ve17
    Participant
    September 4, 2014 at 1:37 pm #60684
    Friends.. With benefits?

    So, there’s this guy. We met in college in NY. He’s from WI and i’m from IN. When we met in school, we really hit it off. I knew he was the one I wanted from the first time I saw him. I’m also one of those people that keeps trying until I get what I want. Anyway, we would hang out 3-4 times a week, we had sex all the time. After a few months he brought up our relationship terms. He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. That what we had was more than just friends but he just could’nt give me everything he would want to emotionally. So we just continued doing what we were doing, as I was secretly hoping I could change his mind.

    We graduated in November of last year. We continued to see eachother. I would drive to WI about once a month, sometimes more. He spent my 21st birthday with me and it was the best time of my life. He introduced me to all his friends, his family. Even warned me “you know, my mom is hard to win over.” We have so much fun together and even though (continued)


    winel0ve17
    Participant
    September 4, 2014 at 1:46 pm #60685

    He said he doesnt want a relationship, his actions say the opposite. So i got the great idea of bringing this up again. For the past few weeks i’ve been really down. I was considering asking him how he felt if I moved up there. In a year there hasnt gone a single day that we haven’t talked. It’s been almost 9 months since we last talked about being in a relationship. He’s my best friend. I couldn’t imagine my life without him and i don’t want to abandon him just because of my overwhelming feelings. Since we had the first talk, i’ve been there for him, being so patient, i was the first person he told about his sister’s cancer and he cried on my shoulder. Last night he told me he still wasnt ready.
    I am absolutely devastated. It’s been almost a year.. He says he still wants to be friends. My dilemma now is to walk away or try to be friends. I want to just tell him to forget the conversation, and things go back to normal. The thought of completely letting him go is so unbearable. Help!


    Meme
    Participant
    September 5, 2014 at 11:13 pm #60829

    You can lay it out for him to let you know. Decide if it is worth it to you to wait for him to decide but you have to be happy and go on living your life also, and don’t let him play games with you. If something is to come of it then it will but go on living your life and be happy knowing he at least knows how you feel and what you want.