Frustrations with dating sites in general

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Frustrations with dating sites in general

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    organs
    organs
    Participant
    August 16, 2017 at 7:00 pm #145824
    Frustrations with dating sites in general

    Hello everyone, I just joined and this is my first thread.

    I’m 36 and over the years I’ve tried Match multiple times, OkCupid multiple times, Plenty of Fish, geek2geek (yep, looking for my fellow nerd), and a slew of others. The only one that netted any actual results was Craig’s List…. but that was when you could feasibly contact and be contacted by actual human beings.

    I’ve written my profiles to be detailed but not bloated. I do tend to write a lot, but I generally try to give a summary of who I am and what I like.

    I feel as if different sites cater to very specific personality types: OkCupid is for hip bachelors who may be looking more for lifestyle accessories than people, Match is for professionals looking for dates with marriage potential to an extreme, Plenty of Fish seems geared towards….well, everyone there who’s shown interest seems to have kids and not have finished high school.

    I have problems, too, like ADD and dysthymia, so I get anxiety and depressed easily.

    organs
    organs
    Participant
    August 16, 2017 at 7:05 pm #145825

    I ran out of room, but I hope my post is clear.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    August 18, 2017 at 2:58 pm #146103

    you should let go of all your preconceived notions of everything first of all.
    believe it or not what’s going thru your head – comes thru in verything you do (OLD profiles, text messages, body language, dates)… and it has no place in dating. The above you wrote make you sound judgmental and negative (sorry to say).

    Besides I completely disagree with your “what each site people are like”. If you are projecting any “this person is a…” on dates or during messages – yes that is a turn off.

    So let GO of trying to label, frame, and fit everybody into your puzzle.. and explore the person fro who they are and LEARN about them – not define them. You should see your results change dramatically if you can.


    SBLoverBoyII
    Participant
    August 18, 2017 at 9:08 pm #146140

    I’m currently on Plenty-Of-Fish. It took me 3 weeks to get any responses. I will agree with one line from the above post: Put all your preconceived ideas aside ( as far as what each site offers ie: a guarantee of finding anyone ). Every individual has their own wants and desires and those wants and desires will never be accurately represented on any profile. In my opinion, most of the stuff you read in profiles is that person’s language to describe themselves.The language they use is theirs alone and cannot convey much to you since you are not the author.

    Now, if you’re trying to score responses on any site, say more than hello. What I like to do is read through their profile and make references to items that they have listed.


    SBLoverBoyII
    Participant
    August 18, 2017 at 9:12 pm #146141

    …Most people ( if not all ) on these sites see you first, and then read your profile second ( shallowness – natural ). Be superficial about your looks in order to raise the chance of them wanting to view your profile. If you’re lucky enough to get a date then that will be your chance to shine ( however you do that ). And if they don’t like you after they get to know you, then at least you got the experience. Good Luck.

    organs
    organs
    Participant
    August 21, 2017 at 11:03 am #146180

    Thank you for the responses. I acknowledge that I was a little blunt in my descriptions, but there’s a kernel of sincerity. I’ll keep trying, I suppose.

    nicole23
    nicole23
    Participant
    August 31, 2017 at 2:17 am #147698

    I love Tinder and have met a lot of good people there. Really hard to have the real thing from dating sites. Tired of using them lol.

    mbowe
    mbowe
    Participant
    October 3, 2017 at 11:17 am #151265

    I’ve had zero luck with online dating. Not sure if it’s me or what. I’m 34 with no kids, educated, good job. I maintain my health, not fat, and always try to look my best. After trying POF, Match, Zoosk and Okcupid, for over a year, I’ve still yet to have a date. The only attention I ever get are from women who are single moms, extremely obese (sorry just not my thing), or much older 15+ years. It’s very frustrating and I feel like time is running out for me. I’ve read and followed online guides on how to succeed in online dating by creating a great profile and writing a great message etc. Still no luck. Whenever I reach out to someone I like, I never get a response. It’s hard to meet people the old fashioned way with my work schedule. I think online dating is better suited to bigger cities where there’s more people joining in. I still have hope though and will keep trying.


    Fghzxc
    Participant
    October 3, 2017 at 3:39 pm #151324

    You’re not the only one


    SnowChild6
    Participant
    October 4, 2017 at 11:18 am #151419
    Reply To: Frustrations with dating sites in general

    Hey there, I’m a guy. Being too detailed is a boon! You must be brief enough for women to sift through and know that they’ll have a good time talking to you. Having nice pics is also great.

    matt-stevens
    matt-stevens
    Participant
    October 11, 2017 at 9:36 pm #152531
    Reply To: Frustrations with dating sites in general

    Can someone advise any good dating sites?

    matt-stevens
    matt-stevens
    Participant
    October 11, 2017 at 9:37 pm #152532
    Reply To: Frustrations with dating sites in general

    I’ve heard about Tinder and Badoo… Not sure which one is better and how do they work?
    Do you need to pay to start using them?

    braun
    braun
    Participant
    October 15, 2017 at 11:48 pm #152860
    Reply To: Frustrations with dating sites in general

    @organs I recommend getting your profile on OkCupid critiqued by any of the various dating advice forums. People tend to not mind being very honest about which of your pictures are unflattering and whether your writing is a bore/depressing/unattractive. The most important thing is be objective about the criticism. It’s easy to think that when people are insulting your profile, they are insulting you. Nothing of the sort. People can be pretty harsh if your profile is bad, but your profile is something you can change to get better results.

    Once you’ve done that and you find that women are liking you or contacting you, but not responding to your messages, then do the same, but with your messages. And ask what you’re doing wrong in your messages.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by braun braun.

    onelonelyangler
    Participant
    October 16, 2017 at 3:43 pm #152959
    Reply To: Frustrations with dating sites in general

    Tinder is a waster and bumble is no bueno. Meet in person youll be closer


    bigbear23
    Participant
    October 16, 2017 at 6:06 pm #152977
    Reply To: Frustrations with dating sites in general

    I joined this website to get some advice about a girl I like

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