FWB to Friend to more? What to do

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FWB to Friend to more? What to do

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    MrClueless
    MrClueless
    Participant
    February 6, 2017 at 9:47 am #125782
    FWB to Friend to more? What to do

    Theres this girl who lives in my building and we hang out all the time. My life is made better having her in it and she feels the same way.
    When we first met she was very into me (she wanted sex). We had sex a bit at first, but then a girl I had loved for years moved to town so I told her and started turning down her advances until the point that she just stopped trying and we would only hang out as friends…. Well now things have changed and I’m into her but don’t know how to show it/find out what she wants without ruining friendship we have. She’s not shy to let me know she sees guys, but I’m a one girl kinda guy. I have a date with a girl I used to see coming up this week, but I don’t want to screw that up if I don’t have a shot with my neighbor anymore. My plan is to just be honest and let her know I’m going to be seeing someone else soon that i used to date but I’ve been into her for a bit now and want to know if she feels the same. Is this a fair thing to do/ a good idea?

    • This topic was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by MrClueless MrClueless.
    Sue315
    Sue315
    Participant
    February 6, 2017 at 11:27 am #125808

    Would you really ever be able to trust this woman in a real relationship?

    MrClueless
    MrClueless
    Participant
    February 6, 2017 at 12:00 pm #125813

    Yea, at first I didn’t think so, which is partly why I never considered her as that kind of person . But as I’ve gotten to know her I have figured out that if something were to happen between us that I could definitely trust her and it would be a worthwhile relationship. So the question here is more of a what’s the best way to make my desires known while at the same time leaving the option for us to stay friends. We are pretty involved in each other’s life: we work out together sometimes, do art projects, she’s trying to get me to do yoga… don’t want to lose those things, but I want more. Even if we went back to dev that would be cool with me. I just don’t know how to have these convos and maintain what we have

    Sue315
    Sue315
    Participant
    February 6, 2017 at 12:55 pm #125818

    I think you just need to take the risk. Maybe she feels the same and is afraid to say anything for fear of losing you. Maybe she mentions the other guys to make you jealous and make you make a move! I obviously don’t now her but it is biologically difficult for most women to have sex with a man and not get somewhat connected and if you have all those other things in common, why not take it to the next step? It sounds like you were made for each other. It will involve you sharing your feelings about her and being open and honest about what you think,feel and want.
    I am not sure why if you are thinking about dating her you would tell her or see this other woman. You need to go full out for her and prove to her that you will be there for her if she is with you. It seems you are both walking on eggshells around each other and avoiding what you both may want! But you won’t know unless you talk. Oh and flowers,flowers flowers..I know you guys don’t get it, but don’t question it, just do it!

    Sue315
    Sue315
    Participant
    February 6, 2017 at 12:56 pm #125819

    ROMANCE HER!!! Good luck!!

    • This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by Sue315 Sue315.

    Mr.J
    Participant
    February 6, 2017 at 10:28 pm #125916

    I guess I have almost feel what youve been feeling now MrClueless...Its really hard to get along into that kind of situation, knowing that you are about to risk something important to you. And I know you dont want to lose her and, don`t want to offend her..
    But to make things right, risking is everything..BUT not at all..

    I guess the first thing you have to do now, do this before you met the girl you have to date

    1) Bring her to the point where you used to be with each other, just to make her realize all the things you used to be with..(All the things, as long as you can, as long as she want).

    2) Feel her, all about her, her emotion, her body languages, her feelings. Everything.

    3) After knowing about her, now you have to know what you really want to have. Do the decision, if you choose to be with her then only you can say what you really want to have.


    Mr.J
    Participant
    February 6, 2017 at 10:29 pm #125917

    CONTINUATION:

    The decision is always your,
    Don`t put a girl to a situation where she have to decide. Put her into situation where she can feel the most of you. Where she can feel that she is special…

    BUT you have to choose who is the one you are going to make feel especial.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    February 7, 2017 at 12:35 pm #125971

    you’re playing russian roulette and not being honest with yourself.
    if you have feelings for this gal, why did you drop her for an ex- and why have you arranged to date other women before asking her out on a date?

    So problem 1 – you are not being honest in assessing things correctly. Do that first and then we can talk.
    Otherwise – stop trying to rake them all in – you’re going to have to choose and then focus. OR decide that you don’t want to focus on anybody (and thus not require any of them to focus on you).

    can’t have your cake and eat it too.
    and it’s a formula for disaster if you try.

    be honest and fair and treat them the way you’d want them to treat you – with honesty. be upfront for what you want or it can be and be fair about it.

    good luck.


    Sw00n
    Participant
    February 8, 2017 at 11:45 am #126104

    Yea just take the risk… she probably feels the same way. if it doesn’t workout, she’ll definitely continue to be a fwb.

    Im a one girl kinda guy too but last year this girl ended up cheating on her boyfriend with me.being ininvolved with her definitely made me a less jealous person… She had a bf and i couldn’t do anything about it. We became fwb. Down the road things had gotten complicated and she didn’t want to keep hurting him. if i could go back i wouldn’t of let feelings get involved.

    • This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Sw00n.