Getting Hot & Cold Signals

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Getting Hot & Cold Signals

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    brad23
    Participant
    November 27, 2013 at 9:05 pm #43664
    Getting Hot & Cold Signals

    I was in a relationship for the last 4 years with the girl of my dreams (so well I thought, until I found her cheating on me). We broke up 9 months ago and let me just say they have been a tough 9 months, we were in love, we had moments with each other etc… Anyway after we broke up I wasn’t really interested in dating straight away, well this last 2 months I’ve been talking to this girl I’ve knew more and more. I have knew her for 2 years but of course didn’t see her in a sexual way because I had a girlfriend. I have been speaking to her lots lately and have found out that she now has a boyfriend. We work together so spend long periods of times together, I have noticed I have feelings for her and there getting stronger every time we spend together. I have been flirting with her and she has been back, all the signals are there. Sometimes I walk her home from work and she always wears my hoodie, she holds my hand on the way home. she has brought me a hat for me to wear on the way home.


    brad23
    Participant
    November 27, 2013 at 9:10 pm #43665

    carrying on from above.
    I have told her I have feelings for her and she has admitted the same, her friend I spoke to the other day. She told me that she was waiting for me for so long when I was going out with my EX. I’m guessing she’s moved on from me, as she now as a boyfriend but how come she acts like where going out? like I say it has been a long time since I’ve been in the dating game, and I must admit I’m still a bit delicate after me last relationship. What’s with all this confusion, one minute we are acting like we are going out and other times she holds back. If I’m honest I don’t know if I like her more for the fact that she’s hard to get because she has a boyfriend. I don’t want to break them up though as I’ve been cheated on so, I don’t want her boyfriend to go through the same situation. On the other hand though why shouldn’t I? I know it’s selfish but I’m just confused right now. What should I do?


    Sharp
    Participant
    November 30, 2013 at 3:09 pm #43701

    If she cheated on you and is now willing to cheat with you on her current boyfriend, then it seems like she is a girl who cannot stay committed to someone. I don’t know enough to speculate what the underlying issues might be as to why she is like this, but as difficult as it may seem, I would strongly reccomend that you be the better man If you allow yourself to be moved from being her boyfriend to being her man on the side, you are telling yourself that you don’t deserve better and telling yourself that you will accept whatever you can get. You do deserve better, and even though it is hard -and I admit WAY easier said than done, try to remain strong and just don’t contact her Try to go out and meet new people, flirt just for the heck of it with women, and focus on things bout you that make you a great catch for a woman that won’t put you through this. It’s not as selfish of you as it is of her, to put you through this.


    ssa123
    Participant
    January 12, 2014 at 2:33 am #45912

    Cheating is not cool. If she’s willing to cheat on him with you, she’ll do the same to you later on. If she really likes you, and really doesn’t want to be with him any more, she’ll end it with him and come to you. Don’t pick her up straight away though if she does that, let her have some cool off time, to make sure she’s had time to ensure its the right decision for her.


    IndyGabe7
    Participant
    January 17, 2014 at 4:23 am #46065

    Don’t cheat, it always ends bad. There are lots of girls who act like this for one reason or another. Just act normal and talk to other people, I’ve seen too many friends do things like this to themselves that it destroys or changes them into different people. You’ll definitely find someone else, and if you can stay committed for 9months you’ll be fine on keeping a stable relationship.


    rico
    Participant
    January 17, 2014 at 6:57 am #46067

    tell her straight out how u feel


    brad23
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:20 pm #43704

    @Sharp
    I think you may have mis-understood me, my EX i’m not in contact with and I don’t plan to get back with. The girl that I’m close with now, fancied me while i was with my EX. I didn’t realize this because I was with my EX at the time. The girl I like’s friend told me this. Like I say the girl that use to like me and still does by what i can gather has a boyfriend, after being sick of waiting for me while i was with my EX. We work together and all the signals are there, I want it to continue what we have but at the end of the day I know she has a boyfriend and I wouldn’t want to break that up because my EX did that to me.Just like to clarify that none of this or the above is about getting back with my EX, it’s about a girl I’ve new for a long time that fancied me while i was with someone else. now that i’m not with that someone else i can see that she is the one for me all along, but the problem is she now has a boyfriend as I’m guessing she thought she’d never get with me. thank


    brad23
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:20 pm #43703

    @Sharp
    I think you may have mis-understood me, my EX i’m not in contact with and I don’t plan to get back with. The girl that I’m close with now, fancied me while i was with my EX. I didn’t realize this because I was with my EX at the time. The girl I like’s friend told me this. Like I say the girl that use to like me and still does by what i can gather has a boyfriend, after being sick of waiting for me while i was with my EX. We work together and all the signals are there, I want it to continue what we have but at the end of the day I know she has a boyfriend and I wouldn’t want to break that up because my EX did that to me.Just like to clarify that none of this or the above is about getting back with my EX, it’s about a girl I’ve new for a long time that fancied me while i was with someone else. now that i’m not with that someone else i can see that she is the one for me all along, but the problem is she now has a boyfriend as I’m guessing she thought she’d never get with me.


    brad23
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:39 pm #45929

    Cheers everyone for the advice so far. Me and Her have been the same really, we do spend a lot of time together at work. She want’s to meet up out of work hours everyday but most of the time i make up an excuse to try and separate myself from her, which is hard to be honest. I attended a work colleagues new years party, she didn’t attend as her boyfriend had made plans for them. The whole night she spent texting me though instead of him, she’d text me saying he was drunk and couldn’t stand him in this state. Her best friend did attend the new years party that i went to and told her that i was flirting with other girls at the party and that i had kissed one of them. When she found out she went mad at me the next day, i thought to myself well i am single. I’m so confused at the moment it’s unreal, i don’t know what she wants from me. She said she loves my charm and personality, we get each other really well. I feel sorry for her boyfriend if i’m honest, i mean she’s not a player.


    brad23
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:39 pm #45930

    Cheating is not cool. If she’s willing to cheat on him with you, she’ll do the same to you later on. If she really likes you, and really doesn’t want to be with him any more, she’ll end it with him and come to you. Don’t pick her up straight away though if she does that, let her have some cool off time, to make sure she’s had time to ensure its the right decision for her.

    Cheers everyone for the advice so far. Me and Her have been the same really, we do spend a lot of time together at work. She want’s to meet up out of work hours everyday but most of the time i make up an excuse to try and separate myself from her, which is hard to be honest. I attended a work colleagues new years party, she didn’t attend as her boyfriend had made plans for them. The whole night she spent texting me though instead of him, she’d text me saying he was drunk and couldn’t stand him in this state. Her best friend did attend the new years party that i went to and told her that i was f


    Hammerhead
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:43 pm #46150

    Yeah cheating is not cool… Why spend time with a girl who “acts like [you two] are going out” but that also has a boyfriend? What does that say about her loyalty? I think the way that a girl acts when she has a boyfriend is a good indication of haw she would act if she were YOUR girlfriend.

    foreel
    foreel
    Participant
    April 10, 2014 at 10:06 am #50861
    Reply To: Getting Hot & Cold Signals

    If she is dating someone, there’s nothing wrong with the two of you talking about her leaving him and becoming part of you. however, if she’s willing to cheat on him with you then she will also cheat on you with someone else. be careful.

    Rebecca
    Rebecca
    Participant
    April 10, 2014 at 1:39 pm #50893
    Reply To: Getting Hot & Cold Signals

    I understood what you meant about the new girl. If you genuinely think you would like a relationship with her explain that you have feelings for her and would like a relationship with her, starting with good old fashioned dating, BUT she has to be sure she wants you and has to be free to date you. It’s hard to know if it will work, but i sense you may still have feelings for your ex. If you’re sure your over her then be bold, tell the new girl how you feel. Faint hear never won fair maiden. 🙂 hope it helps good luck.


    tripped
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:20 pm #50923
    Reply To: Getting Hot & Cold Signals

    You need to tell her that you’re not comfortable with the situation. She has everything she wants right now (a physical and official relationship with him, and a supportive engaging flirtation with you) and I’m telling you she will keep the status quo until you make her choose, or worse, her boyfriend finds out and get involved.


    singlemom
    Participant
    April 14, 2014 at 12:51 am #51191
    Reply To: Getting Hot & Cold Signals

    Cheating isn’t cool but maybe she’s just killing time waiting on you

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