May 27, 2017 at 1:28 pm #137788
This is becoming a trend for me, but I guess it’s because I only really meet ppl at work. Anyway, I started a new Job just under a year ago. There are only four of us, me and three girls – one being my boss. So one of the other girls is really cute And usally wears tight leggings, which look great on her figure. She is always bending over in front of me and it drives me wild. Best part we are usally only work together with the other two not there. Anyway, while at wirk today she mentioned ghat she met a guy on vacation but he doesn’t live in the US. She also mentioned that she might quit soon. I have no Idea how to broach the topic with her or what to do at all really. I don’t want to make it akward or lose my job over some indiscretion. Any suggestions?
DmjharParticipantMay 31, 2017 at 9:28 am #137946
I was in this boat myself several years ago when I was working for a debt collection agency. This one girl named Hannah I found cute and literally the exact same thing i.e she met a dude but he didn’t live in the area. I don’t know if it was serious or not, but she mentioned to a few of us she met a guy and was still talking with him.
She didn’t say whether she was going to leave or not, but I for one didn’t want her to, and wanted to at least let her get to know me outside of the office.
Anyways… I ended up asking her if she has Facebook just because I didn’t really know what else to ask or say to be honest. We ended up becoming friends on Facebook and I would try to be ninja and comment and like some of her posts lol
In the end, nothing more came of it but just that one thing helped me overcome the fear I had initially. Just something I thought you might like to try i.e asking if she has Facebook and then becoming friends and then taking it from there? Just my thoughts anyways.
May 31, 2017 at 10:58 pm #138072
- This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by Dmjhar. Reason: typo
Thanks for the advice Dmjhar but being Facebook friends isn’t really going to get me anywhere in this situation. I mean don’t get me wrong thats a good way to sort of get to know each other but its kind of indirect and, like in your example, usually doesn’t lead anywhere. I think maybe I will just try and find a good way to sort of invite her out for drinks or something after work one night. Even though that in its self is awkward, at least it wont come across too weird. I’m really not great in these situations.
DmjharParticipantJune 1, 2017 at 8:50 am #138073
Just don’t care about her opinion. Just ask her if she wants to go out for a drink. You can do it! =)
I use to be a nervous wreck to be honest, and then one day a friend named Carl said that I’m like that because I’m so worried about being rejected, and if I stopped caring about being rejected or not I would be more confident and wouldn’t freeze up when talking etc.
So in the end, I literally stopped giving a shit about the outcome. That made the biggest difference in my life, and I bet it will in yours too, if you just shift into that kind of mindset.
Just ask her if she would like to go out for a drink. YOLO dude.
- This reply was modified 3 weeks, 1 day ago by Dmjhar.
bretbParticipantJune 1, 2017 at 4:37 pm #138132
Wait until she quits. Avoid any possible sexual harassment situation.
DerekhhhParticipantJune 6, 2017 at 4:59 am #138542
I second Dmjhar. You have a great opportunity to ask her out since you two are alone together. I think telling yourself you’re worried about sexual harassment is just an excuse you’re giving yourself because you’re afraid to ask her out. Just tell her you’re gonna go try a new restaurant and invite her along. I wouldn’t wait until she quits because there’s no need- you can ask her out when the two of you are alone. Also be careful to not get jealous when she brings up that other guy. best of luck
richiroParticipantJune 6, 2017 at 11:22 am #138566
So what i’ve been learning recently is that females find it more attractive if you’re more up front and direct with them and show the confidence just to ask them out.
HOWEVER.. you do need to have something to go no to know she’s interseted (well you don’t.. but it is my recommendation that you do so). – otherwise it comes off as creepy and the other poster is right – a big no no at the workplace due to sexual harassment laws). So what interaction has there been bewteen you that tells you she is open to you appraoching here? (the telling you of meeting somebody else is NOT a good sign by the way).
If you don’t know, and she’s about to quit – actually it’s another bad sign that she says she’s about to quit and hasn’t mentioned keeping in touch yet – so don’t think she’s interested actually.. but your best move is to maybe ask her to lunch at work. Or ask what she’s doing after work (since you two are there late and the others gone) and ask if she’d like to join you for dinner.June 6, 2017 at 11:52 am #138574
Yeah thats what I was thinking, that way its more like I am asking to hang out as like coworkers like ppl do in other offices and not come off as creepy. I’m still kinda feeling things out. She hasn’t mentioned quiting or the guy at all the last bunch of times, so that may be a good sign.
jobber22ParticipantJune 7, 2017 at 8:56 pm #138790
Just be yourself if she bites she bites
richiroParticipantJune 9, 2017 at 1:48 pm #139068
for whatever reason i’ve heard a lot of females talk about this lately as well – and what they say is that they’d rather somebody be direct and have “the confidence” to be direct and that’s “less creepy” than the guy who keeps hanging around and they can tell there’s something up but the guy never admits to it and as if he keeps “scheming” or trying different things …
so that’s from a female’s perspective. So the direct, just get it out in the air, approach may be the more successful formula.
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