Girl I have a crush on is so confusing!

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Girl I have a crush on is so confusing!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Green2711
    Participant
    March 8, 2016 at 10:25 pm #95244
    Girl I have a crush on is so confusing!

    Hey ladies, I was hoping you could help me out. There is this girl at work that I’ve known for around 2 years now. Over the past year or so she has been flirting with me quite a lot and making sexual jokes, purposely bumping into me and phoning me while I’m in work to ask questions that don’t really require an answer and finding excuses to message me on Facebook. I often catch her staring at me and when we make eye contact we both can’t help but smile even if we are talking about something serious we both end up smiling and laughing. She’ll ask me questions when we are joking about sexual things like “Do you talk to other people like this?” and when I’ve had a holiday she’ll ask if I missed her. Here’s the thing though, she seems to be a man hater “all men are the same, cheaters, only interested in one thing”. She says things like “I don’t need no man” when I start to close get and crave more attention when I cool off.


    Green2711
    Participant
    March 9, 2016 at 8:23 am #95245

    However she gets insanely jealous when I talk to female customers and accuses me of flirting with them even though I am just being polite as I’m at work and I’m generally a nice guy and don’t see it as flirting. The thing that boggles my mind though is she asked the manager a few months ago not to be put on shift with me anymore but now she is asking me to swap shifts with other people so we can work together. She’ll add me to facebook and then block/unfriend me over the slightest thing. She recently told me that she is not talking to her ex as he doesn’t want to see his kids and had told me that she isn’t in a relationship with him and has been saying that for over a year now but I found out that she went to Turkey (her ex is Turkish) with him a few months ago. I used to work with her sister and the girl I like will always bring up that I have a thing for her sister which isn’t true.


    Green2711
    Participant
    March 9, 2016 at 6:43 pm #95320

    Thanks for replying, I get that shes annoying sometimes but I guess I’m a gluten for punishment :), Our general thing is we bounce off each other like that winding each other up and have a laugh but she takes things too far sometimes. I haven’t asked her that question because I’m not sure if I want to be in a relationship with her yet, I suffer from depression and off days and I really like her and don’t want to put her through that but I’m slowly feeling better, when we get on I feel great and when we fall out I think about it all night and get really down she is the only person who can put a smile on my face most of the time. I often think she gets in a mood because I haven’t made a move but other times I feel like she is just playing with my head or even using me to get back at her ex. I do have trust issues since my ex of 5 years left me as soon as she got a good job after I worked a dead end job to make ends meat while she studied.


    Green2711
    Participant
    March 9, 2016 at 6:53 pm #95321

    I found out she went to Turkey with her kids and her “ex” from her next door neighbor who came in the store I work and told me she had been hospitalized from a mosquito bite and when I asked her mom if she was ok she told me she was but her “ex” had left her to go visit his parents while she was in hospital. When I confronted her about her “ex” and going to Turkey she denied it and still won’t admit it but her mom isn’t the type to lie. She did ask me who I prefer working with her or her sister and I told her that I prefer to work with her but she won’t have it, her sister doesn’t work with us anymore she was sacked. I told her that not all men are like that and I try to show it in the way I act, I even treat her to dinner at work and she says “You do this for all girls” so I don’t know how to prove myself to her. I’ll go out of my way especially for her and she’ll say “you’ll do anything for me won’t you?” and I normally just smile and nod.


    Green2711
    Participant
    March 9, 2016 at 7:04 pm #95322

    I know it sounds really complicated and for any other girl I wouldn’t give it a second thought to walk away but I have really strong feelings for her and we have chemistry (a lot of customers have commented on this). Another thing that makes me not want to ask her out is she’ll make comments that make me feel so self conscious…like the other week I said what size pizza do you want and she replied “small please, I like my pizza’s small but everything else I prefer large” the thing is half the time I don’t know when she is joking or being serious. Which makes me think if I did get into a relationship with her and she is being serious then breaking up over something like that would literally destroy the little bit of confidence I have left after my past relationship. I think she makes those comments because of her ex and I told her the other night that it sounds like she isn’t over her ex and she got pissed off and didn’t speak to me all night.


    Green2711
    Participant
    March 9, 2016 at 11:46 pm #95340

    Pretty much plus I have some problems that I’m self concious about and she can be quite brutal and not very empathic at times. Haha believe me pal, I know that feeling about having no experience with being perceived as attractive although the way she goes on about me and accuses me of sleeping around with anything that moves you’d think I was jack the lad and nothing is farther from the truth hence me joining a dating advice website! I think she looks beautiful, a little chubby but I prefer a bit of meat a bit more cushion for the pushin. But it’s more that we seem to click, similar humour and definite chemistry even though, yeah, she is a bit nuts sometimes, that’s the downside but I’m far from perfect myself. The trouble is I work with her so it would be awkward if she turned me down and then having to work with her most nights of the week would only add insult to injury.