Girl Still Friend With Her Ex…

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Girl Still Friend With Her Ex…

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    DKing3
    Participant
    February 17, 2015 at 3:54 pm #73592
    Girl Still Friend With Her Ex…

    Ok so I have been talking to this girl for about a month and a half now. We met over OkCupid and It has been going really well. We talk, text,snpchat, and skype all the time (the times we have skyped or actually talked we have held conversations for hours). She goes to school up in Toledo but lives closer to Cincinnati where I am from. She said she really likes me and wants to give us a shot, but…. She is still friends with her ex. Really good friends. And at first, though i was worried, I said to myself, no, a healthy relationship has to have trust and i told her I would have 100% trust she would never do anything as I would expect she would feel the same to me. But now the ex is threatening their friendship if me and her start dating because he said he is not ready to date and she is worried about this. I asked her if she still has feelings for him and she says no… So what should I do? Part of me wants to stick this out, and part of me wants to cut this off…


    l_m
    Participant
    February 22, 2015 at 12:36 am #73875

    For one thing, statistically most quality relationships with the highest probability of marriage do not take place through online dating. Secondly, anybody with sense would not be friends with their EX’s But keep in mind there are exceptions to the rule but most of the time its not a great idea.Thirdly, her ex boyfriend still has romantic feelings for her (which she has allowed) and she is still connected to him to the point where he can still manipulate her (which she has allowed). Its a major red flag if an EX still has a voice in her romantic life. Someone that is just a “friend” would have absolutely no control or say in who and when she decides to date. And the fact that the EX is even threatening her and the friendship goes to show that he was never a friend at all. So with that said I suggest if you want to avoid unnecessary frustration, possible danger on your end and her end as well, and a major heartbreak… Drop her like a hot potato.


    DKing3
    Participant
    February 22, 2015 at 8:03 pm #73891

    Yeah… I have heavily considered this. It already hurts honestly but I think that may be the best option for just me and her both. I dont think she is over him as much as she says she is… I just dont understand how she could even be friends with this guy. Seems like a real jerk


    l_m
    Participant
    February 23, 2015 at 8:44 am #73896

    Yes I’m sure it already does hurt and I’m sorry about that. =( But I think you know and I know the best thing for both of you is to walk. He seems like a nut and a jerk controlling her and being so involved in her life like that. (But she is allowing that) And unfortunately she does not see the current or potential damage she is causing or could cause in the relationship. So you have two options Endure or Walk. The decision is yours. I wish you the best of luck. Any questions reply or message me anytime =)


    DKing3
    Participant
    February 23, 2015 at 10:15 am #73922

    Well Thank you!:) But the only thing is, I really just dont know what to do from here as far as finding someone else. The dating sites just really dont seem to be giving me any luck.


    l_m
    Participant
    February 24, 2015 at 12:41 am #74005

    Like I said, I don’t recommend online dating, night clubs, singles groups, classrooms, work, etc. lol Try getting out more, changing up your daily routine, or do things you’ve never done before or try getting involved with a non profit that you can connect with or are passionate about. But don’t get involved for the sole purpose getting a girl. Just relax, put your focus on helping others. But be open to possibility of your true love falling right into your lap. Its much better to connect with a potential true love being in an environment that focuses on matters much bigger than yourself. Be focused, Be positive, be open, be happy and most of all be yourself. I wish you the very best!! =)


    Stevennaidoo
    Participant
    February 28, 2015 at 11:59 am #74402

    Join clubs


    jodi09
    Participant
    March 2, 2015 at 11:43 am #74477

    I believe that exes can be friends, but it depends on the circumstances of the former relationship and subsequent break up. Yes, this guy is clearly controlling, but the saddest part is that she doesn’t entirely “believe” it because she’s still conversing with him on a level that HE feels comfortable enough to dictate what she does. If she were “over” him, there isn’t a thing this guy could say that would hinder her friendship or relationship with you or anyone else.
    Personally, you need to have a talk with her and lay it completely out on the table how you see this, what it’s doing to you, and how this will affect what you two are trying to uild from here forward. Talk to her about severing ties with the guy, but if in that conversation she finds any reason or excuse to allow it to continue, even for a moment, she may not be emotionally or intellectually the woman for you.


    Damon971
    Participant
    March 2, 2015 at 8:00 pm #74532

    its alright to be friends with your exes, nothing wrong with that as long as you guys are mature about it its alright