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richie_92ParticipantApril 17, 2017 at 6:39 am #133419
Hey girls, kinda need some advice and thought it would best asking you’s.
I went on a couple of dates with a girl who I really like, she told me she wanted to take things slow which we did but she told me she does have anxiety problems and she also said she pushes people away but that it’s easier for her to do this than commit. (Diamond in the rough). I love her personality though. As we are both petrolheads and love going to car shows and have the same interests it just worked and she’d offer to buy things for my old Land Rover but I told her no as I didn’t want her using her money. But she insisted, Anyweys, we went out on a picnic and for chips down at the beach together. Now we spent last Saturday together and the night together too. Ended up having sex and cuddled after. She loved it but what happens was I told her jokingly that I’ll end up falling for her. She said the next day it threw her and that she was scared of emotion. She’s now distancing herself, what to do?
Mommy127ParticipantApril 17, 2017 at 1:41 pm #133457
She just needs time. Has she ever had a heartbreak in the past? Or had somebody close to her die? From the way you worded it she has built a wall around her heart. She is just scared to let someone else in, she’s afraid of heartbreak. I have these exact same problems with my boy friend. She needs time, don’t pressure her, go at her pace and maybe you’ll work out.
Arl211813ParticipantApril 17, 2017 at 9:12 pm #133474
I’m also a girl with a troubled past !!
Honestly take things slow ☺️ She will have been hurt , and it may have taken her a lot to even go on a date with you or even speak to you!
I have been hurt in imaginable ways ! I am a good person, I don’t want drama, I want to forget about the past and move on and be happy and I have no doubt she has her pre conceptions and her guard is right up !!
Show her your not a jerk !! If your serious about her is what I mean!
You can’t just steam roll in on these girls create a relationship , trust , get her guard down a bit then Just decide this is not what you want or you don’t like her anymore ! This is why she wants to take it slow so she doesn’t get hurt again!
She wants to love and trust but she has issues that prevents her from doing that in contrast to normal circumstances.
If your serious show her distant affection and maybe let her make a move even a subtle one like touching you hand or arm will be a massive signal she likes you!
RWnParticipantApril 18, 2017 at 9:53 am #133438
Hi from a girl with another troubled past 🙂
I experienced things in my dating life which mean that I too push most people away. More than that though, I am extremely guarded against grand statements and so on. I put my defence up because I know that too often, believing in the fairytale lines that people say to you sets you up for a more bitter disappointment down the line. Very cynical, I know.
I remember only a few weeks into our relationship, my ex told me he wanted to marry me and have my children. I was totally thrown.
My advice is: be her friend. If she is skeptical/cautious in any way then she is looking for a love which creeps up on her. You can see it in things like the land rover. She wants to be your friend, not just your romantic date. She will only trust her if you give her something real, and maybe hold off on the grand gestures/statements for a while until she becomes more comfortable. She probably believes in romance like everyone else, but sees it differently. 🙂
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