Girlfriend had sex with ex while getting to know me

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Girlfriend had sex with ex while getting to know me

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    mj0770
    Participant
    March 27, 2013 at 6:07 pm #27098
    Girlfriend had sex with ex while getting to know me

    I am looking for advice on here because I could never tell my girlfriend’s personal life to my friends or family. It would make her look bad. I met my girlfriend on an online dating site. While we were still exchanging messages but before we had met in person she took a flight across the country to see her ex (who she had not seen in six months) and had sex with him. We have been together for three months now. The truth didn’t come easily. In fact it seemed that she tried to hide it from me by saying the trip happened one month before it actually had. I guess it bothers me that she would be so willing to give it up to a guy that treated her poorly. It is one thing to meet an ex for coffee if you are trying to date others but to fly out and have sex with him when she was starting to get to know me was so disappointing. I want to forgive her but it seems to be a very poor way to start a relationship that i was hoping would last forever. Since this bothers me so much should I just leave her now? I don’t know what to do. I am crazy about this girl and really thought she cold be the one for me.

    YvonneG
    YvonneG
    Participant
    March 28, 2013 at 6:26 pm #27242

    It’s not uncommon for people to date more than one person until they decide which one suits them best. You had no title with her and although it’s disappointing, she didn’t do anything technically wrong (imho). Maybe to your moral sense she did something wrong but she didn’t just “give it up” to a stranger. She may have done that for closure, for sexual release or maybe a final way to see if she was emotionally attached to her ex OR ready to move on and mingle with new people, like you.

    She really didn’t have to tell you but since she felt some sort of guilt I think it was decent of her to mention but she didn’t have to tell you anything. we all have baggage and maybe some grey lines we don’t like to admit we’ve crossed but she’s willing to be open and start clean with you from here on out.

    If we all judged each other on our past we might not ever be able to look forward…Hope you can look past her “mistake” and keep an honest and open relationship with plenty of communication. Don’t let your insecurities affect a potentially awesome match.


    pearcewilliam
    Participant
    March 29, 2013 at 4:32 pm #27340

    I had the same problem. I had hooked up with this girl on New Year’s and while we were hanging out but nothing exclusive, she had sex with an X and another dude she often saw at this camp she goes to. I have it even worse than you because I had already been with her and felt a connection. It has been so hard to deal with but girls that feel guilty about that stuff and tell you it are definitely ones that won’t cheat, or at least cheat and let themselves get away with it. I know how much it kills you inside because I think about it everyday. I’m hoping time heals it, because I really do love this girl. best of luck man