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ch33s3n1pParticipantDecember 8, 2012 at 8:05 pm #18440
So my girlfriend of 6 months has $5000 of credit card debt. We are both 24 and have been through enough to know what we want and need. We have become very close and we both know we are going to get married one day. She can barely keep up with minimum payments and all her other expenses too. I have a good career and I have around $10,000 in savings that I was planning on using to reside my house. I have been thinking about just paying off her debt because that it a major source of stress for her and for our relationship. Is that crazy? Should I wait till we are married (maybe two years away) before I help her with finances?
hundtingtonParticipantDecember 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm #18510
Hmm, you sure she hasn’t played this card on other guys? Sounds like you two are making big plans with little to no history. Remember the last you girl you dated and you hit the 6 months anniversary? Do you think you would’ve helped her too if she was thousands in debt? Probably not because you knew you couldn’t take it seriously enough to see it work out but for a mere “long term relationship.”
I know you may think you’re “mature” enough to make these large financial decisions but pouring your savings into her account isn’t the only way to prove you love her.
Help her by budget-cutting and making monthly payments. If you want to help by offering money, join in and put some cash into the payments with her and make it a team effort kinda thing. She’ll appreciate that you’re helping her debt and her independence. Don’t spoil her this soon, she’ll think that’s the easy way out of all of her problems if you try to be some hero.
ch33s3n1pParticipantDecember 13, 2012 at 12:38 pm #18734
You are right, that is the common sense answer I needed to hear! She hasn’t asked for any money and she was even reluctant to tell me her credit card situation so I doubt she is playing me. I brought it up yesterday and just told her that I would help if she wanted me too. She was uncomfortable talking about it and told me she had to fix this problem herself since she caused it. I have been paying for meals whenever we eat together and she said that is a huge help in getting her money under control so I guess I will just keep doing that.
YouGuessedItParticipantDecember 13, 2012 at 12:51 pm #18742
I think a budget plan would work best. If you’re the money saver and she’s the money spender have her pay YOU and you can save it for her so she can’t touch it. You’ll be her bank! Each month show her how much she’s put aside, show her getting out of debt is not impossible and then deposit the money into her credit card account.
She’ll probably feel relieved to see such chunks get closer to $0
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