Girlfriend suddenly acts cold and distant

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Girlfriend suddenly acts cold and distant

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Ekovvv
    Participant
    November 28, 2017 at 7:04 pm #157676
    Girlfriend suddenly acts cold and distant

    Me and my gf (not sure if she still is) have known each other for around 5 years. We’ve been together about 3.5 with a few minor break ups. As of lately she has been acting really cold and distant to me and doesn’t really give a reason why.

    A few weeks ago she had a birthday party, I drove her there and picked her up. When I picked her up she told me she loved me, wanted to stay over at my place and couldn’t stop talking about our future together. She didn’t stay over because I had to wake up really early, she knew this already but she still gave it a shot. 3 days later all of the sudden she had a lot of doubts about our relationship, she said we had more fun when we were just friends and kinda wanted to break up. When I ask her for an explanation she doesn’t really have an answer, she just “doesn’t know”. She acts really cold towards me and kinda acts like she doesn’t want contact with me anymore, which is weird.


    Ekovvv
    Participant
    November 28, 2017 at 7:05 pm #157677

    I don’t get why she wants to be friends all of the sudden, we’ve tried that twice and we ended up being together again so I told her: If you want to break up, we can’t be friends.

    When I told her we can’t be friends she started crying, asking me why we couldn’t be friends. She seemed really shocked. I just don’t get how she changed her mind that fast, after the party (and before) she loved me till the moon and back, and 2/3 days later she’s acting so cold. I would respect her wishes to break up, but I feel like there is something going on that I don’t see so I hope one of you guys can ‘show me the light’. Needless to say; I don’t want to break up, we’ve been through a lot but things we’re going well, at least I thought so.

    If I don’t text her, we don’t text at all. If I don’t keep the conversation going, nobody does. Normally I would’ve already moved on but now I just can’t.

    It’s a really difficult situation, I will answer any questions and I hope someone can help me out here.


    heartman
    Participant
    November 28, 2017 at 8:44 pm #157680

    talk to hear seriously or maybe just give her some time.


    Ekovvv
    Participant
    November 29, 2017 at 8:48 am #157678

    PS: During the week she is at her school campus, it’s an all-girls school so I’m not really worried about that. We only see each other in the weekend or when I have a day off from work and spend a night at her dorm (not sure if her room is called a dorm).

    PPS: I’m 24, she’s 21.


    Ekovvv
    Participant
    November 29, 2017 at 8:48 am #157683

    @heartman

    Thank you for your comment. Honestly I don’t know what to say, normally not an issue for me but i’m lost for words at this point. Any suggestions?


    Ekovvv
    Participant
    November 29, 2017 at 8:51 am #157685

    Heartman:

    Thank you for commenting.

    I’d like to talk to her, but I wouldn’t know what to say. Normally I don’t have that issue but right now I’m lost for words to be honest. Any suggestions?


    jdoug91
    Participant
    November 30, 2017 at 1:25 am #157822

    21 is a funny stage for girls. I think it’s tough but it might help to set some boundaries. She needs to realise that there’s two people in the relationship and if it’s all tipping her way that’s not fair on you. It obviously hurts but being firm with her about what type of relationship you want might be best. You’ve got to be able to trust that if you need her she’ll understand and be there for you just as you for her. It goes both ways, where as yours sounds a little one sided at the moment.


    Ekovvv
    Participant
    November 30, 2017 at 4:26 pm #157919

    @jdoug91

    That’s a good point, I feel like I should tell her how it is straight to the point. Normally it isn’t this one sided, we actually had a pretty good relationship but since 2 days after that party it has been so weird. It really has been one sided and I should break that like you said. I will try the bounderies thing. Thank you for your comment!