Girlfriend With Problems

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Girlfriend With Problems

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Buckeye419
    Participant
    July 22, 2014 at 3:16 am #57915
    Girlfriend With Problems

    I’ve been dating this girl for just short of 11 months. When we first started dating, it was pretty nice. A few months in I found out that she has severe depression, and she is self-abusive. She goes to therapy, she takes pills. She is steadily trying to fix herself.

    Well a few weeks ago she was diagnosed with psychosis. She’s seeing and hearing people. Well, her depression is getting worse, she is always in more of a bad mood than a good mood. Now it is starting to affect me. I can’t go 20 minutes without her telling me something is wrong.
    She talked to me a few days ago, and we got into a huge argument, because she knows that I had cheated on an ex in the past, but I assured her that I haven’t and will not cheat on her. The past is the past and it was a mistake, well she took that to heart (the cheating) and she told me that she will never trust me ever.

    I understand the love is a strong bond, etc. But do you guys think that my misery is worth it? I just don’t know..

    runtothesun
    runtothesun
    Participant
    July 24, 2014 at 3:20 am #58096

    When I started reading your post my first reaction was “Be patient”, but as I kept reading I started thinking maybe this isn’t worth it. Her illness is one thing, but when it starts affecting you and putting you in a bad mood you need to seriously reconsider this whole thing

    And that trust thing? Ridiculous. Sounds like she was fishing for an excuse not to trust you. I say get out

    Itsmejonny
    Itsmejonny
    Participant
    July 24, 2014 at 11:05 am #58127

    I’d say stay with her if you love her, these things are fixable.

    anne113
    anne113
    Participant
    July 24, 2014 at 10:16 pm #58202

    stay with her


    Anonymous
    July 25, 2014 at 5:57 pm #58290

    Man! you sure picked a doozy!!! It is guaranteed that with the illnesses she has been diagnosed with, you will be miserable. Although she is getting help, she has a long ways to go and may not even be fixable. Psychosis, schizophrenia etc are diseases that are near impossible to have relationships with because the person is no connected to reality. She has so many things going on inside of her and she has got to fight for her life. She is so fragile that anything you do, could cause a lot more trauma drama for her. As much as you are doing your best, there is no winning with someone diagnosed with psychosis, depression and self abuse. She does not love herself, she does not love life, she does not live in a space of joy and happiness….and nor will you if you stay with her. You will get drawn into spending all of your energy trying to make her happy or trying to keep the peace, that you will lose yourself in the process. Her needs will become so BIG, that it will be all


    Anonymous
    July 25, 2014 at 6:02 pm #58291

    that exists. You will be blamed for a million things (like cheating) even when there is nothing going on. When someone has addictions and mental illnesses, it is usually strongly suggested by the professionals, that they stay away from relationships for a long period of time until the person is stable, because the partner can be a major trigger to activate the addiction again. So I say it’s probably time to break it off. She will throw a fit, she may go a bit crazy on you, so I suggest to be very careful. You don’t know what she is capable of. I suggest contacting her therapist or anyone who is professionally helping her and letting them know your decision beforehand so they may be prepared to help her….if she is self abusive, who knows what she will try if you break up with her. Reality is, her life is not your responsibility. Your life your responsibility and it is something worth fighting for. Your life can be lived in joy, laughter, fun, playfulness and passion, but you


    Anonymous
    July 25, 2014 at 6:07 pm #58292

    gotta find someone who is capable of feeling those things and you need to fight for that! That is….if you want that. Something in you is probably more interested in “rescuing” her and being the knight in shining armor, than finding someone who doesn’t need you in that way. Just something for you to think about. So the real question is….do you want a healthier, fun, passionate, exciting, romantic, playful honest and strong relationship???? if yes, can she support that with you??? (doesn’t sound like it). So being that the answer is probably no, then the question then becomes, what are you holding onto???


    montanawild69
    Participant
    July 27, 2014 at 1:03 pm #58336

    you deserve to be happy.
    if she isnt making you happy anymore, that’s very sad, but unfortunately it is what it is. she deserves to be with someone who wants her 100%. by that logic, you wouldnt be doing either of you a disfavor by possibly moving on.