Girlfriend's X-boyfriend is Killing our relationship

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Girlfriend's X-boyfriend is Killing our relationship

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    pearcewilliam
    Participant
    March 29, 2013 at 4:25 pm #27339
    Girlfriend's X-boyfriend is Killing our relationship

    I started dating this girl several months ago and the relationship has gotten and been really serious. We are with each other almost everyday and love each other very much.

    About 5 months before us she had broken up with a guy that she had been seeing for almost a year, but the relationship wasn’t as serious as ours. She honestly never loved him. But she had remained friends with him afterwards and had been hanging out with him until we became official. I made sure the hanging out stopped. He has constantly been contacting my girlfriend and most of the time she doesnt respond. But she did once call him for advice on OUR relationship (odd) and she also talked to him about STD’s a few times (she always worries even though she’s been tested and is clean).

    Other than that, she often hides what he texts her because when I see him texting her it leads to fights a lot. Just the other day he had texted her saying that he found the earring she had left there a long time ago. So I went with her to pick it up. (she made a big deal about me going to the door, saying it was rude because she was rubbing her new boyfriend in his face). After we left he texted her asking to talk about stress and problems when she has time. She responded politely and then stopped responding. Today she informed me that her mom (we’re 18) told her to respond to him about his problems to be polite. So she texted him back and asked about them. He responded that it was really personal and he would like to talk in person… My girlfriend told me she texted back that I wouldn’t want them hanging out and she totally understands why that is so.

    She always tells me she doesn’t have any feelings for him but I’m wondering why being polite to him is more important than my wishes to her that she doesn’t contact him whatsoever. ANY ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO OR SAY IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.

    The x-boyfriend causes so many fights and is constantly popping up in our relationship. I can’t take it anymore.


    coryhopps
    Participant
    April 2, 2013 at 6:15 pm #27602

    Geez, tough one. If you don’t start focusing on your own relationship with her you’ll just be living a half-assed one by trying to constantly break apart these two.

    What I mean is, try to focus on her and you. Try to take her out to fun places and show her how much you care about her. The fights won’t stop unless you get over the insecurities of losing her. Be the best man you can be but if she fails to notice all the good things you can bring to the relationship, then she’s not the one you should be dating right now.

    If she’s still torn between you and him, let her figure it out on her own, not with you being there dragged along. That’s not to say break it off immediately, I still think you can build something and try to work on these little kinks before you call it quits.

    Tell her exactly how you feel and how much it bothers you that she’s in such constant communication with him. If that guy is going through emotional problems, he can call up another friend or family member, not his EX gf. And from here on out, don’t get in between the two. You should only be talking to HER about this, not getting to the front door of anybody elses’ house. Keep this issue between the two of you and you’ll see that guy will start to disappear slowly (hopefully).