Going on a date with someone I've never met

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Going on a date with someone I've never met

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    December 12, 2017 at 12:08 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    AlexxA
    Participant
    April 18, 2017 at 11:17 am #133538
    Going on a date with someone I've never met

    Started talking to this guy on Match . We hit it off. I stalked his social media and he has that he’s engaged on his Facebook page. I called him out on it, and he explained, he was engaged last year. He was really nice and genuine and gave me compelling evidence and personal stories saying he no longer engaged. Now I feel guilty about calling him out.

    We started over and really hit it off together. He seems really nice, mature, and down to earth. He then asked me if I would like to go on a date with him. I said yes, and we made a plan for this Saturday. Ever since we made the date plans, he hasn’t really texted me at all. He wished me a Happy Easter the other day, and I him, but now its like we don’t text at all. I’m sort of confused. People are telling me maybe he doesn’t want to talk, because he’s waiting to meet me an get to know me in person. But I would think he would want to keep talking. Now I’m paranoid that maybe he’s not interested. But why ask me out in the first place?


    Earthling
    Participant
    April 18, 2017 at 1:33 pm #133572

    Are there current posts on his Facebook or does the whole page seem outdated? Because if there are recent posts from him on there, he may really be engaged and backed down when he was found out.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    April 18, 2017 at 1:55 pm #133574

    No all the posts are old and my girl friend found online that he and his fiancee bought a condo together and it has since been moved out of and sold, so I am not as much worried about him being engaged. He definitely isn’t. I’m more confused as to why we made plans to go on a date and now its like the talking has ceased. We have a plan, Saturday night at a restaurant. Some people have told me its probably because he wants to get to know me in person so once we made the date he’s waiting for the in person meet. But I just find it strange. I don’t know. He made it a point to make the plan with me, he was very considerate and kept asking me what I wanted to do and what I was comfortable with and what days/times worked for me. We exchanged phone numbers and we texted about our date plans together. But I guess its strange to me that we make a plan for a date and then we don’t talk for a whole week until the date?


    Katie__17
    Participant
    April 20, 2017 at 4:25 pm #133841

    He could just be really busy, I would give him the benefit of a doubt till your days that he is just busy and trying to keep lots of things to talk about once you are together in person.


    musiclovr
    Participant
    April 21, 2017 at 1:17 am #133864

    If an engagement didn’t work out, I’d change my profile quick to let a new girl know I’m definitely single. Seems kind of odd that he didn’t change it.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    April 21, 2017 at 9:56 am #133890

    He finally responded Wednesday saying sorry a ton of times and saying how he typed out a whole long message to me, but he forgot to hit send. He thought he did so he was just sitting waiting for me to respond. He kept apologizing. I’ve done that before myself, so I understood. He then told me he was so sorry and he has to reschedule again. He said he just found out some friends who live out of town are coming in for this wedding, and want to spend Saturday catching up and visiting with him. He said he doesn’t want to risk not being back in time for our date. He immediately started asking me again what times, days, I am free. I told him I was not free Monday, but can be flexible most other days. He then says how he is not free Wednesday. So then I tell him I am free Tues, Thurs, and Sunday. He then responds saying how he will have to see closer to next week what his schedule is going to be like.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    April 21, 2017 at 9:56 am #133891

    said okay. He kept talking to me and texting me throughout that day. He got a puppy a few months back and he’s super proud of it. He talks and talks about his puppy. I ask how his day is going and he starts spamming me with all stuff about his puppy. Then he says “I also got to see my first puppy today and it was nice.” I ask him what he means by “first puppy.” And he says “from my previous relationship.”

    To me, I’m assuming then the ex-fiancée took the dog. He picked it out and helped raise the dog, and it is evident he loves the dog, but it’s not his, so he got his own when they broke up. Then he starts sending me all pictures of her dog with his puppy and they are cuddling and playing. To me that means, if he sees the dog then he sees her still, and they have some sort of agreement laid out. Maybe she drops the dog off like a child split between two parents. I don’t know the situation. I felt bad, because I didn’t like it that he was in this situation.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    April 21, 2017 at 9:56 am #133892

    It’s not ideal for anyone to get involved in. But he clearly still loves her dog and he helped raise the dog. He then started again just gushing about his own puppy and how it helped him through his rough times, and was good dog therapy. He then started sending me just cute pictures of just his puppy only. We spoke for almost the whole day and then he never answered.

    This was Wednesday. Thursday morning he texts me early saying he was sorry he didn’t respond and he fell asleep. Then starts asking all about my work day. We spent almost all day talking back and forth. He asked about my job, and me, and told me about him. He seemed genuinely interested in talking to me and getting to know me. We spoke from about 10 AM to 4 PM, and then I never heard from him again. Now it’s Friday morning. Maybe I will hear from him, maybe not.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    April 21, 2017 at 10:16 am #133897

    what was the “compelling evidence” that “proved to you” he was no longer engaged? did he mention buyhing a place with his fiancée and then it failing at all?

    lots of red flags here.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    April 21, 2017 at 10:57 am #133919
    Reply To: Going on a date with someone I've never met

    He said he was not engaged any longer and was honest saying that he was last year and isn’t anymore. He claims they had difference of opinions and then he getting help for a mental health issue which she just wasn’t okay with.
    He bought a puppy, because he no longer has the dog that they got together, so he is super proud of just his own dog
    He said he rents now by himself
    The last photo of them together is from July 2016 and the last photo evidence of her in his life is from October 2016
    You can search online for ownership of property. My friend searched and it looks like they bought a condo together in late 2015 and it has since been sold as of October 2016, which corresponds to the last photo evidence of her in his life. Also why would he rent now, when he used to own a condo? You would only go back to renting if you sold your condo and had to rent something if you were newly single.


    DivorcedinSTL16
    Participant
    April 24, 2017 at 3:10 pm #134231
    Reply To: Going on a date with someone I've never met

    I owned a house with my ex-husband, and if it weren’t for his generous offer to co-sign a mortgage with me I would now be renting, because at the time I would not have qualified for a mortgage on my own. Also, owning property is a much bigger commitment than renting. If he’s in a place of transition, renting makes a whole lot of sense.