whoknows12ParticipantOctober 17, 2016 at 9:00 pm #114406
Met guy on dating app. Date day, texted making sure I didn’t just get out of a long term relationship (LTR). We’ve both been single and are looking for a LTR. He said he’s ready for marriage if he finds the right person.
Date went well, lasted ~2 hours. He said he had fun after it. I said I did too and we should do it again, he said “are you just saying that? so you’ll answer if I text you?” I assured him I would. When my taxi came he said “wait, I want to do something”. He held my face and kissed me. It was nice. It felt a little rushed bc the taxi was there STARING.
He texted me that evening “thanks for a fun date :)” The next day I texted asking to go out again on xday. He replied “sorry i’ve been in work stress mode, I’d love to go out again. Can we play xday by ear? I have a proj with lots of planning. I should be able to meet for a bit xpm or after”
I said t”hat’s fine, just let me know! if not, maybe next week 🙂 good luck planning” Was I blown oft? Legit? what to do?
MilitantMaladiesParticipantOctober 18, 2016 at 4:07 am #114407
hmmm.. I think he is just testing you. because I would do the same to build up excitement. or he’s just really busy. I suggest don’t over think it. 🙂October 27, 2016 at 10:40 am #115551
I have a similar issue with women…
I was in an LTR/marriage for 10 years (!!) that started basically at the end of the 1990s. It ended (legally) in 2012 and I went immediately into a rebound relationship with another local girl. I ended up moving out of state 6 months later so that effectively put an end to that.
I decided I needed to take some time to work on myself before putting myself back “out there.” I came to the point earlier in 2016 when I was finally “ready” and I entered into what I found to be a completely different world than I left ~15 years ago.
Dating is completely different. Online dating and cell phones didn’t exist the last time I was single and looking. I’m in my mid 30s so it has taken some adjusting.
Anyway, I’ve met lots of great women over the past few months and had some really awesome times. Hooked up with a few on the first date, even.
HOWEVER, I am not looking for hookups. I’m looking for someone to build a genuine relationship with.
..continued..October 27, 2016 at 10:45 am #115555
My problem is I keep having these great first dates: we talk, laugh, no awkward silences, no ducking out early, sometimes kiss, etc.
And then I eventually get “ghosted” while trying to set up a second.
I went on a great (short, due to the time) first date two nights ago. We were both really into it (it seemed, anyway). I asked at the end if she’d like to get together again tomorrow (which was yesterday), and she seemed pretty enthusiastic. We texted throughout the day playfully and after I got off work I asked “So what time do you think you might come by later?” and all of a sudden she’s really tired and needs to go home and sleep.
So she effectively flaked on an arrangement we’d made, but this isn’t the first time. This keeps happening with women, and I just can’t wrap my head around what I’m doing wrong? Everything seems so great when we meet and then it’s Disappearing Act 101.
Any advice from people who’ve been in this environment longer than me?October 27, 2016 at 10:50 am #115556
I’m very frustrated because I tend to focus all my attention on one woman at a time, and for any guy who has online dated they know it’s a HUGE deal when a) a woman actually responds to the first email and b) she’s actually a woman and not a shill/bot for a cam site or something like that. Online dating is very hard for guys, I believe because of the glut of mail the women receive.
HOWEVER, meeting is not actually my problem as I seem to have that part down. It’s continuing and building a relationship from there I seem to be missing something?
Frustrating because now I have to start all over again from square one (for like the 15th time), try to get someone REAL to respond, court them in email, set up a date, etc. Believe it or not, this takes a huge amount of effort on the guy’s part because you have to separate yourself from the 99% of guys just looking to show you their dick.
After so many failures, it’s really starting to negatively impact my ego and slightly depressing. I don’t even want to try anymore.
samhbrum11ParticipantNovember 7, 2016 at 4:09 pm #116648
i think if he kissed you on the first date (that takes a lot of balls to do on the first date) and he texted you saying he had fun then hes definitely interested in you. It very well may be that he is busy with work and has to let you know a good time for another date. It doesnt sound like he’s blowing you off at all. If a guy wasn’t interested in you then he wouldn’t have kissed you and texted you the same night saying he had a good time. Just keep making suggestions on the second date and work out a time that would be best for the both of you even if its a little while away when he is less busy with work!
Good luck! 🙂
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