got "dumped"…completely lost and in pain

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got "dumped"…completely lost and in pain

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    lostinthewoods
    lostinthewoods
    Participant
    August 14, 2015 at 4:42 pm #84114
    got "dumped"…completely lost and in pain

    Sorry if this is too long…

    Been “dating” a guy online exclusively for over 5 mths. We live on opposite coasts and meeting in person is not an option right now for either one of us…and probably not in the near future. We really, really clicked.

    I have not been dating at all for about 17 years (was married). Been on an online dating site for 8 months, first time. No idea what the rbules or expectations are. This is the only guy I actually liked enough to care to have something with.

    I knew that he was big on honesty and has trust issues with women because he has been hurt in the past…a lot. But then again, I have too.

    Either way, after talking online or having “online relationship” for 5 months…I felt comfortable in telling him more about myself…namely that even though completely separated for over 4 years from my ex the divorce was never final…due to legal complications with custody of our kids…

    He felt I lied and basically dumped me on the spot, very hurt


    Blondey
    Participant
    September 27, 2015 at 8:57 am #86007

    Hi I just saw your post, I am so sorry for you, I can relate somewhat as I to was previously married with children though never actually divorced. I have been in an online relationship for over a year and when I told my partner it was hard but we talked through it and he trusted my reasons. I hope he came back to discuss this with you and work on your relationship. If he loves and understands you then I’m hoping he will come back and work through this with you. Big hugs xx


    Gvnm4
    Participant
    October 21, 2015 at 3:26 am #87141

    He probably just overrated. I mean you’ve been separated for more than 4 years No reason to get upset about. Maybe he’ll calm down and you can have another talk with him…


    msmith0741
    Participant
    October 22, 2015 at 5:22 am #87179

    You should try talking through it with him. let him know that your relationship is valuable to you and that you want to continue it. Past relationships are personal, and it takes a while before some can express things, in confidentiality, to someone else. Tell him why you waited to tell him and tell him that you told him because of your trust and respect towards him. He took this too personally, and really, this is about you! He needs to put his trust issues aside for the moment because this is his gf confiding in him- how could he have such a negative reaction, talk about shut down- if anything he should be supportive! But anyways, just have a talk with him and share your feelings, be understanding and open minded, and if he’s the guy for you, he should treat you the same way. Best of luck 🙂