Guy ended dating with me for dumb reason. Want advice on getting him back

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Guy ended dating with me for dumb reason. Want advice on getting him back

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    kquin
    Participant
    May 21, 2015 at 6:32 pm #79537
    Guy ended dating with me for dumb reason. Want advice on getting him back

    ok so I met this great guy. we had been seeing each other for about a month. Well last night he calls and ended things. It really caught me off guard because things had been going really well. I had asked why he was doing this and his said that it was because he couldn’t see “long term” with me. We talked more about it and his ultimate excuse was that he wanted someone a little but more established in their career and i guess on the same part of life as him. (i’m 22 graduating in December, he’s 26 with an established career).
    This really thru me off because emotionally and mentally we are on the same level and i just couldn’t get why he would end it because finically we’re not on the same level.
    He then explained more on that he didn’t want to risk his time. He didn’t wanna date and have it not work out and he have wasted time and have to start over.
    After he told me all this I did understand that these are all rational things to be concerned about, but they shouldn’t affect us…


    kquin
    Participant
    May 21, 2015 at 6:38 pm #79539

    the way i saw it was that this is the type of decision that you make like 3 months or more into it when you know the person a little but more. We are still in the getting to know each other so this decision seemed a little to premature. I told him this.
    He then later went on talking about his exs and how he started to feel pressure between us. That the more we started to act like we were in a relationship the more he felt he had to make this decision.
    I then went on to say that he should have talked to me about the pressure. That we can take a step back. I even knew that things were moving a little faster than they should have. I just didn’t think it was that big of an issue only because he didn’t seem to mind.
    Well anyways after talk about it all I came to the conclusion that the whole not being in the same point finically in life was not the real reason. I started to think that its actaully because he got scared. Scared about letting me in and being possbibly let down like his exs


    kquin
    Participant
    May 22, 2015 at 8:31 am #79540

    i straight up told him that this is what i thought and that he is making a mistake. That he was jumping the gun on this type of decision. that he was over analyzing it way too much when we should be focusing on getting to know each other. I kept saying with confidence that this was a mistake and he knows it.
    We have an amazing connection and I know that he feels the same way to. I keep thinking about everything that has gone on and there are so many things that you don’t just do or say if you didn’t feel for that person.
    This month with his been amazing with him. The way i feels about him is a way i haven’t felt about anyone before. Every guy i’ve dated there was always some insecurity or always that one catch with them. But with this guy I felt so sure. For once i felt confidant in this potential. I never worried once.
    and thats huge for me. I’ve been thru the worst possible relationship so usually i’m pretty skeptic, but not with him…


    kquin
    Participant
    May 22, 2015 at 8:31 am #79541

    Well anyways back to why i’m here…
    I want him back.
    When we were parting ways after our talk I told him that he is making a mistake. That we are good for each other. I am good for him and that our connection is real. He said maybe he is making a mistake but he needs space and time to breath. He also said he can’t garuentee that he’ll change his mind but he just needs time.
    i know i need to give him the space he wants, i just need advice on how to “get him back” once that good amount of space has been given. please help


    nycgirl
    Participant
    May 22, 2015 at 2:19 pm #79576

    Best way to get someone back is to say nothin at al. Sometimes they come back. Doing anything will not bring anybody back. It just makes you look desperate.