Guys, help me! What am I doing wrong

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Guys, help me! What am I doing wrong

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    DatingDoozy
    Participant
    December 21, 2016 at 2:31 pm #120876
    Guys, help me! What am I doing wrong

    So I am 25, have been single for almost two years, and for some reason, it seems like guys are NOT interested in me. I usually blame my weight– I am not overweight but I am on the heavier side– or I blame my looks,but I know I look like my pictures. Usually what happens is I start to talk to someone, we decide to meet up, the date is usually good or great– we have a fun time, hang out for several hours– & then with a hug or a kiss, it’s over and either I get a few text messages and get ghosted later, or dont hear back at all. Even when it works out for a few weeks, I later get dropped. On dates I am kind, charming, appear confident, and I can make a guy laugh, feel important, etc. I’ve never been the girl to be hit on at a bar or the “hot” one, but I am wondering why it’s not working out for me. Why do guys like me until they meet me, or seem to be interested but slowly drop off? I know I am good catch inside, but I am becoming so insecure that I dont want to keep being hurt.


    johnp
    Participant
    December 22, 2016 at 2:18 pm #120935

    Keep dating and you’ll find someone who sticks. If you’re going out and being yourself, then you aren’t doing anything wrong. Keeping trying and you’ll find someone who loves you. The only general things to avoid early on are being too keen (don’t send lots of messages every day), being too easy (guys will not see you as having long-term potential, but will see you short-term), not being keen enough (If you make guys think you’re not interested, they won’t want to keep chasing you as they don’t want to be rejected), and not being easy enough (guys want to feel like they’re getting somewhere, and that things are progressing over time).

    Good luck.


    109ball02
    Participant
    December 23, 2016 at 6:40 pm #120975

    “…. I know I am good catch inside…”

    Let them see why you are a good catch. Sell yourself.

    For example: youre good catch cause youre loving, a good listener, understanding, loyal, good company, compassionate and giving, careful with spending money… you know, just list things about yourself that are true. Write them down. Believe in them. Then… go out and sell those qualities. Show the guys. Tons of guys are looking for a good catch and it has less to do with looks than I think most women think. So many ‘model’ women get taken up by guys, but the women has maybe one or a bunch of flaws “lack of integrity, lack of basic qualities” so they dont last long in a relationship, and end up attracting the wrong guys to begin with. You know, ones that prob wont stick around long to begin with.

    Where you meet a guy makes a huuuge difference too. For example: at a bar vs in a rock climbing club. You know why.

    So believe in yourself, and let guys see it. You will attract the right guys

    sasha
    sasha
    Participant
    December 25, 2016 at 8:44 am #121032

    Maybe you are not their type ? I guess it just wasn’t meant to be if it didn’t work out, i can’t really tell u what u r doing wrong because i do not know what u r doing to begin with, but i know that somone out there will like u for who u r


    josephddiazz
    Participant
    December 30, 2016 at 11:39 am #121303

    Find yourself and it will allow others to find you then


    annie6363
    Participant
    December 31, 2016 at 11:16 pm #121337

    There are so many variables.


    Seth_muller
    Participant
    January 1, 2017 at 1:31 am #121340

    You should keep dating


    AcesDJD
    Participant
    January 3, 2017 at 8:03 am #121422

    Where is most of the weight located? If its in the hips and thighs (pear shaped) it shouldn’t be much of an issue, but if a lot of it settles on the belly not so good. You have to put your first foot forward on a date, but don’t try too hard. I prefer if a woman doesn’t laugh too hard at everything I say or do the touch thing too early or it all just seems forced.


    wonkawilson
    Participant
    January 3, 2017 at 9:03 pm #121563

    This might sound harsh, but could it be you are dating the same people just in different bodies. I have seen many go bad for the same person because she “had a type”…and that type was shitty people.


    LeighBurn
    Participant
    January 4, 2017 at 3:40 pm #121737
    Reply To: Guys, help me! What am I doing wrong

    I wouldn’t get so worked up. What jumps out for me is that you seem to be really keen on all the guys you are dating. Surely this isn’t really possible? Maybe you are trying too hard to be liked. You should be asking yourself if the guy is making the effort for you and whether his qualities are to your liking? Be a litle more choosy to begin with. Also, life doesn’t completely revolve around dating, makie sure you get the balance right with friends, hobbies etc and you will be a balanced person with plenty to talk about and who is attractive.


    McL23
    Participant
    January 5, 2017 at 12:09 am #121771
    Reply To: Guys, help me! What am I doing wrong

    It seems as though these guys aren’t serious about a relationship and was trying to see if you were down to just have a one night stand with them. They’re not worth your time you get a man who is serious about a relationship. It’s a good thing that they didn’t take up anymore of your time.


    Rollingstones55
    Participant
    January 8, 2017 at 4:47 pm #122158
    Reply To: Guys, help me! What am I doing wrong

    Just do your best. Eventually you’ll find someone.

    Sue315
    Sue315
    Participant
    February 2, 2017 at 8:18 am #125395
    Reply To: Guys, help me! What am I doing wrong

    I totally agree with johnp,be yourself and be confident in who you are,you have to love all of you before anyone else can. You are young,many guys your age are still running around. Enjoy life,let him find you,have a hobby,do online dating,take a class in something you enjoy.I am an overweight,53 year old and believe me their are other guys in the sea and you just have to be confident in yourself.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    February 2, 2017 at 11:37 am #125439
    Reply To: Guys, help me! What am I doing wrong

    its what’s going on in your mind that is doing it, not what you are “presenting outwardly”.
    in the end.. people dont’ date what is being presented outwardly, but wiht the vibe and body language you are putting out influenced by what’s going thru your mind.

    for instance.. you are getting frustrated, insecure, etc. (aka “desperate”). most likely instead of just having a good time and enjoying the date, you are thinking “what does he think of me?” “is this one going better or will it just flop at the end yet again?”. dn’t underestimate the goodbye moment. you can have 5 hrs of great fun but an awkward goodbye and that could ruin it. infact most “advice books” or “rules” you read about assess the success of the date by its goodbye b/c it often provide the body language that tells you if the person is interested or not.

    so.. stop trying ti “win people over” or “have a successful date” or “try to get a bf” – that will never work.
    just enjoy it and let it go where it goes