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darkarParticipantDecember 27, 2016 at 1:58 pm #121158
I’m quite a shy and introverted guy, so dating isn’t something that comes naturally to me.
Anyway had a resturant date with a lady about 2 weeks ago. She was lovely, very smiley, she was full of conversation AND way out my league. We sat for hours chatting and at the end of the meal, she asked for my number and suggested we meet up again. As we left the resturant I invited her for a drink at a nearby bar. We had a drink but the bar was very busy and noisy, so conversation didn’t flow very well. Anyway, she suggested we look for another bar that was quieter and had seats, but we couldn’t find one, so we agreed to call it a night. Just before we parted ways, we gazed into each others eyes for 7-10 seconds, my anxiety was unbearable so I lightly hugged her. I really wanted to kiss her, but my anxiety got the better of me.
Anyway, I got home and 20 minutes later she sent me a text saying he had a great evening, really enjoyed meeting me and she was looking forward to meeting up (cont.)
darkarParticipantDecember 27, 2016 at 1:59 pm #121159
…. again. The text messages flowed really well that evening, but lacked any sort of flirtation.
Anyway we continued to text and arranged a second date for January. By this stage the text messages weren’t flowing as well as before, perhaps due to the Christmas distractions or because the text messages weren’t developing beyond, “How are you”, “What are you doing today”, type stuff. Neither of us broke the double texting rule, no matter how many hours/days a response took.
Anyway on Christmas morning, I wished her a Merry Christmas and she replied saying the same thing, but we haven’t text since Sunday.
I’m really looking for some help and advice.
MaryCatoParticipantDecember 27, 2016 at 8:54 pm #121173
I don’t think so. She may not be too comfortable with you yet, but she seems very chill around you.
pmagParticipantDecember 28, 2016 at 7:21 am #121182
Stop obsessing. It’s a waiting game. The more you can control your angst, the more attractive you will seem to her. It’s too early t say if it’s locked down or not so don’t even worry about that part yet.
zogoflaxParticipantDecember 28, 2016 at 3:01 pm #121237
I’m going through something very similar at the moment … so I totally get where you are coming from. I agree with pmag … try not to stress … take a break … start thinking about when/where regarding a second date and present that to her when the time is right. Dating as adults with jobs and in my case kids … it’s really easy to just be too exhausted for small talk. Slow it way down until you’re ready for the next date, or if you truly have an interesting topic that will keep her attention and spark a real conversation. (now of course I need to take my own advice as well!)
josephddiazzParticipantDecember 28, 2016 at 3:31 pm #121239
I agree with the comments above. The longer you take to respond, the more she will wonder why you arent responding and the more attractive you will become to her.
AcesDJDParticipantDecember 29, 2016 at 1:06 am #121259
The way out of my league comment is a problem. If she really is like a 9 and you’re a 5 or something that’s likely to cause problems even if you were able to get her in a serious relationship. If there isn’t that big a looks gap, then you need to boost your confidence and not think a person you’re interested in “is out of your league.”
TrunmanParticipantDecember 29, 2016 at 6:57 am #121262
Im guessing that when you went on a date, she wantend to see what you got to offer and it seems that she is not interrested for another date…give it a little time and then you can text her again, if she still not interrested….move on
AnonymousDecember 29, 2016 at 6:24 pm #121284
I am thinking it is time to go looking for other woman. If it were me I wouldn’t be holding out. If she is very attractive and you think she is out of your league then she probably is constantly asked out by many men daily and has a long list of men just begging her like crazy for a date. It could happen but with that much time going by and the conversation going south I really think it is time to let go and move on to other women.
Alexander WilliamsParticipantDecember 29, 2016 at 9:43 pm #121288
rachaelblackmoreParticipantDecember 30, 2016 at 5:21 am #121291
I very much doubt she’s out of your league, that’s merely your perception of her. At the end of the day she is just a person, like you, with insecurities and hang ups of her own. Maybe she is being cautious because she can’t read how you feel about her, the same way you are being cautious. She sounds nice, and it sounds like your date went well – if I were you I’d arrange another date asap to a) assess the spark and b) prevent things drying up on the text and then fading to another missed opportunity. Hope that helps! 🙂
Dolores88ParticipantDecember 30, 2016 at 1:20 pm #121304
It’s a classic waiting, “who takes the first turn” game. She is acting friendly, but flirty at the same time and she doesn’t want you to think that she is desperate for relationship. Go easy if you want something serious. Few days later ask her out for a movie or bowling, do something funny besides dinner. Make a lot of jokes, have fun and things will go easy. Best of luck!
The24thMartianParticipantDecember 30, 2016 at 11:19 pm #121315
Be confident the next time you attempt to engage a kiss with her, but do this while keeping her comfortable
doubledutchParticipantDecember 30, 2016 at 11:47 pm #121321
I have limited experience with dating, but all I can say is when you are dealing with really attractive women they will feel your anxiety immediately and you can’t afford to have any of it, they automatically assume you are insecure and wouldn’t be a good partner.. if you fucked up though the good news is you can keep trying with new women lol.
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