Have I Really lost her for good this time?

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Have I Really lost her for good this time?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Desperado
    Participant
    January 25, 2013 at 2:50 am #21195
    Have I Really lost her for good this time?

    *note we are both relatively young, she 2 years younger than I* my ex-girlfriend and I have been off and on for a few months, we have split a total of four times. I will fully admit to being a crap boyfriend! I have hurt her, played with her, lied to her, and I know I do not deserve her. But I absolutely with every piece of my being love her! When we started dating it was like I had known her my entire life, I was so comfortable around her! After a month being my stupid self acting just as my father, I left her. I was only seeing what she and I had sexually! I had taken for granted all that we were! And within a couple weeks the painful truth set in, I missed her, and I needed her back! So she gave me a second chance, and I blew it! I was just a bad boyfriend, and she told me she was tired of my games, she was not my toy, she left…. after two weeks we tried to be friends, ended up as Friends with benefits, but it became more, became complicated and she said she felt trapped… she cut off communication, but it was obvious she didn’t want that any more than I did… 3 weeks past… and Christmas was here, by some chance an old text I had sent her that she never received finally made it to her phone, she texted me confused, I told her I was as lost as she was, but I had been thinking about her a lot, in fact I never stopped… she and I went out and we were back together, things were different this time (in a good way!) and they would have stayed that was had i not messed it up again… she found out about something i had done over video chat with some girl not long after we were back together, cheating is in her book the WORST thing you can do to someone…. but this amazing, perfect, brokenhearted, girl forgave me. She was torn to pieces, but she loved me and forgave me, she told me to be honest and to fess up to anything else I had done… because if she did find out about something else, I would never hear from her again…. I guess I didn’t take her seriously…. because I didn’t tell her about my texting, sexting, & video chatting with my whorish ex who cheated on me when we were together…. why? I have no idea. Why would i hurt such an amazing girl? but i did and she found out via my email pictures… dated after she and I started dating…. it’s been a month and i haven’t heard one thing from her…. i see her a lot. But it’s like I’m not even there. I honestly hate everything about myself, what kind of man does this to such a woman? She is all i want! I need her, I’ve never been treated by anyone as well as she treated me, she supported me, believed in me, and i threw it away. I know she still loves me, but I know she is hurt… i would do anything, give anything, be anything, to have her back…. I want to change, and if i can’t change for her, then i never will. Please! How do i get her back?


    divorceddat45211
    Participant
    January 25, 2013 at 3:22 pm #21279

    Dude how old are you? you said young…All I can tell you if you want to stop being a “dog” get some help. You mentioned your dad, was he abusive in some way? You have to learn how to stop using women because that is what you are doing, and you probably have lost her forever, unless you get some help and tell her that. Otherwise get help and move on.