Haven't had sex in a while. Why might that be?

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Haven't had sex in a while. Why might that be?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    109ball02
    Participant
    June 19, 2016 at 1:23 am #103609
    Haven't had sex in a while. Why might that be?

    Girlfriend and I were having sex maybe 2x a week. We’ve been dating maybe 5-6 months. Now its been like almost a month and no sex. She says sexual things to me.. but we don’t have sex. We are still very together, and she is actually acting more in love and saying/doing things for me. Like interested in my life more and more, and being a part of it. I mean.. things are going well. I am a guy she actually could consider in her future and have been better to her, as she says, then any guy before her. I made it clear Im not in the relationship for sex and don’t want her to feel used in any way sexually. I don’t pressure her much at all and never ask for sex. The most I do is lay her on the bed and make-out and see if she is in the mood enough to say she wants to. Sometimes it seems like she is avoiding it, like making out on the bed or in a place that could go that way. So I’m confused. Just noticed a difference. I guess with women, it could be a million reason. Just looking for a few that are “more likely” I guess..

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  109ball02.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  109ball02.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  109ball02.
    werp28
    werp28
    Participant
    June 19, 2016 at 7:31 pm #103623

    Like you said it could be a million things, the only person that can answer your question is her


    lilyvalley
    Participant
    June 19, 2016 at 7:46 pm #103624

    possible answers- she’s getting it from somewhere else or she’s losing interest in you. Talk to her about it. It’s actually not normal at all and a reason to worry because you used to do it twice a week and now nothing in a month. Something is definitely wrong.


    Anonymous
    June 20, 2016 at 2:46 pm #103678

    Totally agree with the others. A pattern has changed. It doesn’t mean something is “wrong” per say, but something has happened. This is absolutely a question you should be asking her. This is horrible to say, but women are pretty infamous for faking it. My initial thought is she might have found interest elsewhere and she is acting more interested in you in other ways and so called “deepening your relationship” in order to cover up her hooking up with someone else. Maybe she got an STD and is waiting for it to heal before she has sex with you again. Maybe she has had that STD for a long time and never told you about it and it happened to resurface recently. Maybe she thinks she is pregnant and scared to have sex. Maybe something you did triggered her during sex and she doesn’t want to go there right now nor admit it to you. It could be a MILLION things. What is stopping you from asking her straight up? That’s what builds a strong relationship! Honesty and authenticity!


    critigy
    Participant
    June 22, 2016 at 1:11 am #103817

    Something could’ve changed or absolutely nothing has changed. You could be getting stale or you did something she didn’t like or it could even not be your fault at all. The only way to know for sure is to ask.

    AdaWild
    AdaWild
    Participant
    June 22, 2016 at 11:49 pm #103912

    well why wont you make the initial move and see how thing go?


    EchoFiveSierra83
    Participant
    June 24, 2016 at 8:10 pm #104054

    I’d try being more direct in your approach and see what happens. See how she reacts. If you sense she feels hesitant or pressured, I’d stop right there and address the issue and find out what’s going on. Express your concerns. Communication is ABSOLUTELY critical in a relationship and without open lines of communication it will fail. As with other posters on this thread, I have to agree that something is wrong. Find out what it is and if you’re both willing to work, fix it.


    elusivehappiness
    Participant
    July 6, 2016 at 1:25 am #104488

    That’s something you may have to just flat out ask her. There are a million possible reasons. Why not ask her instead of worrying about why it could be? You may not like the answer, but isn’t it better to know?


    c24james
    Participant
    July 6, 2016 at 10:30 am #104502

    Yea, something changed. it could me a million diff things. My ex stopped having sex with me bc she cheated on me and kept it from me and felt guilty and dirty about it. Maybe she got on birth control and her sex drive is adjusting. Maybe she feels like you dont like sex with her. Maybe she is working too much or is stressed. Just ask her. If things are ever bothering you in a relationship you need to communicate no matter what.

    brandondj18
    brandondj18
    Participant
    July 6, 2016 at 1:19 pm #104520
    Reply To: Haven't had sex in a while. Why might that be?

    try something out the blue and surprise her when might want more than the reg ole way


    hammersticks
    Participant
    July 6, 2016 at 5:48 pm #104564
    Reply To: Haven't had sex in a while. Why might that be?

    you need to get her in the mood.


    leroyalex20
    Participant
    July 6, 2016 at 11:09 pm #104581
    Reply To: Haven't had sex in a while. Why might that be?

    ladies change overtime. Maybe you did something that she didn’t like which made her lose feelings. Try to find out


    pjl_inc
    Participant
    July 7, 2016 at 3:44 pm #104642
    Reply To: Haven't had sex in a while. Why might that be?

    (PREFACE: Not just another generic answer)

    Do you still want to fuck her as much as you did during the first x months / ‘twice a week’ faze?

    I ask that because before you start analyzing the relationship you should take stock of YOUR feelings/desires. A diminished sex drive is by no means a bad thing, nor is it uncommon after a certain period in a relationship. I myself am 9 months in, with the love of my life, and have gotten through a ‘low libido’ faze.

    As with all sexual health issues, you just need to laugh about it. Even the slightest sarcastic joke about fucking less will break the ice. Your original post didn’t even articulate whether you are worried because you need more sex, or you are worried that it is a symptom of some other negativity. If the former, make a joke. If the latter, make a joke.

    The night you guys go out, get drunk, laugh about the reduction in action, and connect again, is the night you make up for all the lost fucks!

    Good luck mate!