having feelings for best friend's ex…

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having feelings for best friend's ex…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    So Confusedd
    Participant
    January 16, 2013 at 3:35 pm #20765
    having feelings for best friend's ex…

    Okay so here’s what’s happening…
    Last year one of my bestfriends “Olivia” (we’re in highschool) had a boyfriend (bf) “Jeff” and he was so good to her and she just took him for granted…anyways they dated for about 3 months and she just kept more and more away from him so he broke up with her…kindof a messy breakup
    anyways now (7months later) i have developed feelings for him. i cant stop thinking about him and i feel awful bc i think its wrong to liike your bestfriends ex bf. is it wrong? “Jeff” always flirts with me and both of them have seemed to move on…they laff like friends and have gotten past everything.
    anyways i want to know…im sick of suppressing my feelings and i dont want to tell her bc i dont think she will ever forgive me–is it wrong to like Jeff as more than friends?

    candycorn52
    candycorn52
    Participant
    February 6, 2013 at 10:45 am #21979

    I think you need to really really ask yourself if you like Jeff or you just like that your best friend messed up and you have a chance to be with someone who’s available. Do you and Jeff just have attraction to each other or is there something you really see special about him?

    If you are genuinely interested, then you should definitely tell Olivia. Tell her as a best friend that you really care about her and her feelings are important to you. There’s no use in losing a friend over a guy, who you don’t know will even work out with. It’ll definitely be tough on her if she doesn’t approve but keep reassuring her that your friendship is important, but you’d like to see how things go with Jeff too. You’re curious and you want to see why your feelings are leading you to him so be honest with her and tell her you don’t know how it’ll all end up and she’ll be supportive (hopefully).

    MaddieLine
    MaddieLine
    Participant
    February 8, 2013 at 11:53 am #22197

    I like what candycorn had to say. Make sure you never ruin a friendship over a boy. Guys think the same way. No use in ending a friendship you’ve worked so hard for to just crumble for someone you have a crush on.

    Try to find the right words to say to Olivia, you know her best and you’ll know a good place and time to bring it up so she doesn’t run away or ignore you. You need her full attention so you know she’ll give you the green light.

    She shouuullddd be able to swallow some pride and let you try it out with Jeff but it’ll be hard so understand that if she is a little stand offish…


    pseudogf
    Participant
    February 15, 2013 at 5:05 pm #22848

    It was a year ago they dated?? and only for 3 months?? pshh, you totally have an open opportunity here. I’m sure they’ll be fine if you tried to talk to him as more than friends….3 months in high school is like 3 weeks of dating someone in college. You barely see that person when you’re in school but in college (and life every time after) you’ll be able to get to know someone beyond 1st and 5th period.