Having trouble letting go


Having trouble letting go

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    March 29, 2018 at 2:01 pm #169021
    Having trouble letting go

    I’ve been in love with an abusive woman for years and can honestly say its hard to leave. It’s always been her begging for me back, because I leave when she either keeps me up all night fighting, or blaming me for 100% of the issues, having meltdowns until 5 am over a small disagreement, like me wanting to sleep at 1 am and she’s upset about something that we’ve fought over ten times already. then comes 5 am and she’s crying still demanding that i fix things? She’s had issues with cheating, hitting me, drinking. I walk away from her almost like she’s a joke, but somehow there comes the ” bug” she planted in my brain. it makes me feel weak. Because I wouldn’t have stayed unless I loved her. Had wanted things to change. so here I am, feeling depressed and empty, ignoring her calls while she tells me she can’t wait around for me to be ready anymore. The problem is she’s the only person Ive ever felt ready for, I just leave out of exhaustion and break her heart again. I am lost where next

    March 29, 2018 at 5:13 pm #169072

    Have you discussed going to therapy with her? I’ve been on the other side of this and therapy has really made me understand why i engaged in these negative behaviors such as cheating, lying, and just being plain mean. Although my partner did leave me, therapy has helped me understand why I behave this way and given me the tools to calm myself when I feel triggers to behave in these ways. My ex did agree to go to a few sessions, but the damage was already done. Maybe you will have a better outcome.