He disappeared as I didn't sleep with him……I blame myself

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He disappeared as I didn't sleep with him……I blame myself

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    missm86
    Participant
    June 18, 2015 at 2:40 pm #81297
    He disappeared as I didn't sleep with him……I blame myself

    I’m feeling stupid, frustrated at the moment. I was dating a man 2 years ago from online, and he disappeared because he thought I was rude for not wanting to maintain a prearranged date (miscommunication on both parts). I received a message from him online again a few weeks ago. He came to visit me that evening, it was like picking up where we left off. I rarely feel excited by someone like this. We agreed to meet up when I got back from holiday. I returned from holiday and invited him round for dinner and cuddles (massive naive stupidmistake I realise). I was not going to sleep with him as I wanted to take things slow. We were cuddling and kissing throughout the evening. He did ask twice what time I had to get up the next day, but again this went over my head. I told him I would love him to stay but it’s too soon. He went home, but disappeared since and not replied to my texts. At almost 30, I seem to have learnt nothing about men or dating. Now he’s gone over expectations. Stupid me

    SocialDerp
    SocialDerp
    Participant
    July 5, 2015 at 5:57 pm #81993

    Perhaps its better that he showed his true colors before you slept with him?

    Xeelvie
    Xeelvie
    Participant
    July 13, 2015 at 12:25 am #82675

    Well, you should feel lucky! Sleeping with you seemed to be ALL he wanted, so no matter if you had slept with him… he would have walked away. Well, this experience may actually teach you to be more consistent as you said you wanted to take things slow. If the guy was genuinely interested in you, he wouldn’t have run away. Well, it’s time to say… Neeexxxttt! There are still plenty of good men you can meet. Cheer up!


    everything
    Participant
    July 20, 2015 at 8:23 am #83009

    Personally, I’d prefer a sleep over without sex. Nothing better than waking up next to someone and having someone close, also you get so see how much noise they make when they sleep, that’s a deal breaker for me actually.


    actuallyBiz
    Participant
    July 23, 2015 at 7:00 pm #83187

    I have to agree with all the other posters.

    He might have felt as if you lead him on what you invited him over to cuddle. However, that is no excuse for disappearing! How long ago was it since the last time you heard from him?


    Vicky
    Participant
    July 31, 2015 at 4:54 pm #83466

    I cannot understand how guys mind is going on about having sex. Can you guys really have sex only without feeling anything?

    Pixelanian
    Pixelanian
    Participant
    July 31, 2015 at 10:50 pm #83474

    Whatever you do, do not blame yourself. I’m a guy and I completely understand the desire to take things slow. Honestly a real relationship should not be about sex, it should be about the love you and he feel for each other. Just hold out and wait for that one guy who says he wants to take it slow just like you, and try dating him. In my experience the best relationships are those where both parties have the same plans for the relationship.


    mystiQ321
    Participant
    August 1, 2015 at 11:41 am #83481

    You dodged a bullet on that one. Clearly all he wanted was sex. Good riddance. You’ll find someone better.


    vrj
    Participant
    August 5, 2015 at 9:40 pm #83637

    well for me you did the right thing because maybe that guy just wanted something from you u know what i mean…..
    #such a good girl

    flordagirl
    flordagirl
    Participant
    August 8, 2015 at 10:27 pm #83747
    Reply To: He disappeared as I didn't sleep with him……I blame myself

    You dated him 2 years ago? How long were you dating him?

    flordagirl
    flordagirl
    Participant
    August 8, 2015 at 10:29 pm #83748
    Reply To: He disappeared as I didn't sleep with him……I blame myself

    That same question always haunts me. Sometimes I wish I could separate those feeling the same way men do.

    flordagirl
    flordagirl
    Participant
    August 8, 2015 at 11:39 pm #83749
    Reply To: He disappeared as I didn't sleep with him……I blame myself

    trying to delete…

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by flordagirl flordagirl. Reason: trying to delete
    flordagirl
    flordagirl
    Participant
    August 8, 2015 at 11:41 pm #83751
    Reply To: He disappeared as I didn't sleep with him……I blame myself

    I cannot understand how guys mind is going on about having sex. Can you guys really have sex only without feeling anything?

    That same question always haunts me. Sometimes I wish I could separate those feeling the same way men do.


    lodvg
    Participant
    August 9, 2015 at 2:18 am #83756
    Reply To: He disappeared as I didn't sleep with him……I blame myself

    You did the right thing, if he really liked you he wouldn’t have cared.


    MyOpinion
    Participant
    August 9, 2015 at 10:28 am #83761
    Reply To: He disappeared as I didn't sleep with him……I blame myself

    I’m a man and I have to ask the question……..How long were you dating him? If it was 2 months or more, then why not sleep with him? I might not want to see someone after that long a period who didn’t want to have sex. But of course I am speaking only for myself and not for any other men.

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