InfinityParticipantNovember 18, 2016 at 7:21 pm #117881
I met a man 3 weeks ago IRL, at a party. Since then we have gotten together 4 times, for Happy hour. We live about 3 miles apart. This Saturday will be our first real Saturday night date. Dinner at a nice BYOB restaurant, then down the street to see a band. Both places are less than a mile from his home (about 3 miles from mine).
He has never really asked me much, if anything, about my life. I do volunteer information. We had a long phone conversation where he asked several personal questions ( family, and health matters). At the end of all that, he suggested that Saturday night I sleep at his house so I won’t have to drive home ( a whopping 3 miles). He specified I could have the room to myself, but he really wants me to stay at his place as opposed to going home.
What Gives? Why is this necessary? I hardly drink so much I can’t handle driving home. I believe his sudden Interest in my life was a grooming to get me to stay with him.
I am a little insulted.
tomeliot17ParticipantNovember 19, 2016 at 2:19 pm #117896
Morals and values vary from person to person. After a few dates he just may be looking for a bit more. I’ve found 4 dates usually to be the natural starting point for let’s call it a deeper relationship. He obviously was trying not to offend you but showing that he cares and is interested in moving the relationship forward.
wonderussParticipantNovember 19, 2016 at 2:41 pm #117898
I’d be up front with him that the timing isn’t comfortable with you now. 4 dates is just touching the tip of dating. Either way let him know if it’s and option or not later
take it as a compliment and not an insults; insisting that why your dating.
subconsciousslaveParticipantNovember 19, 2016 at 11:09 pm #117905
If your gut tells you something is off, you should definitely trust your gut. Your conscious mind and reasoning can be great but also will lead you astray with stuff like this. You could always not drink. Or get a cab. Or a friend to drive you home.
kassie2015ParticipantNovember 19, 2016 at 11:54 pm #117908
He probably just liked to hang out with you a lot because he probably thinks your fun and he wants you to spend the night maybe he’s just lonely and doesn’t want to be alone
unknown17ParticipantNovember 20, 2016 at 5:17 am #117914
You should never do somethin that you’re not comfortable with. If he is really a good guy he will totally understand it.
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