He went from friends to this.  What happened?

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He went from friends to this. What happened?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Aquafina
    Participant
    April 27, 2014 at 11:04 am #51853
    He went from friends to this. What happened?

    I moved away from City after I graduated grad school, leaving behind a bunch of friends. I had been interested in Scott when I was there but we were just friends. There were many things that made me think maybe he liked me too ,but I wasn’t sure. Before I left, I guess I was feeling sentimental so I told him Scott that I like him. I was leaving anyway. I thought also this might help him raise his self esteem because he was complaining about wanting a gf and how he’s shy when it comes to girls.

    after that he’d be liking my posts and we kept in friendly touch. and I forgot all about what I told him / didnt comprehend maybe he felt uncomfortable.

    When I came to town almost a year later, I sent out a GROUP email asking who wants to hang out. Scott responded right away, and i put him in my calendar. I have to admit I was very excited about seeing him but I also didnt want to put him on the spot. Hence, his inclusion in the group email.
    (continued…)


    Aquafina
    Participant
    April 27, 2014 at 11:08 am #51854

    Part 2:

    A part of me wasn’t sure to include him at all, because I still felt weird and embarrassed. In response to my telling him I like him he gave me the old, “you’re so beautiful and kind and bla bla bla, and a great FRIEND” text message. lol. so basically I already knew he didnt like me. But I figured we were still friends as well, and I didnt want to make him feel excuded.

    Long story short, he was the only person interested in running together. I show up, text him, he doesn’t show up. I text him later in the day, he says basically: “ah man, i thought it was a different day! sorry” For some reason, I really felt like this was intentional and I was stood up. maybe that’s irrational, but I just felt weird. also the feeling of waiting alone slowly realizing he wasn’t gonna show up, really sunk in. i felt embarrassed and foolish.
    he also had said he’d be at a group dinner, and he wasn’t there either. at this point i’m thinking, ok I don’t think I will be seeing him this trip.


    Aquafina
    Participant
    April 28, 2014 at 8:41 am #51855

    Part 3:
    I was wondering why he responded at all – it was a group message – i never even contacted him personally.
    to my surprise he showed up when we all went out drinking. he showed up with our group of friends and it was the same night as the dinner. I guess i was still pissed because when he came to hug me, i dodged it and just greeted him politely. he had come up to me all cheerful and excited. But I was thinking to myself: when somebody stands you up, the rule is to not talk to them. I certainly wasn’t going to act like everything was hunky dory. I still was polite.
    He definitely NOTICED this and proceeded to glare at me, and then i’m told by another friend, that as we went on to other convos, he kept looking over at me the whole time. I couldn’t look at him.
    As they were all leaving, he said in the most insincere way ever: sorry again about saturday, and stood far and made hand gestures indicating he wasn’t going to offer another hug . it seemed sarcastic, almost mocking.


    Aquafina
    Participant
    April 28, 2014 at 8:41 am #51856

    Part 3:
    then when he showed up at the bar, with our friends, he went to give me a hug and was all in-your-face cheerful about it, I wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t JUST do that twice during my short trip to town. I gave him a polite reception and wouldn’t hug him. He then started to glare at me, and wouldn’t talk. My friend said he kept looking over at me the whole time, as we were in other conversations.

    on his way out, he stood real far away from me, made hand movements to show he wasn’t going to try to give me another hug, and said in the most insincere-sounding, through-clenched teeth apology for not showing up on Saturday.

    I was sort of rattled by that interaction. it was horrible. After being convinced by my friend that he “cares” i wrote to him the next day saying if he thinks I was being unfriendly it was because I was hurt, and if he didnt want to go to those actiivities, why say so to begin with or why not call/text to cancel. he responded with a laundry list of excuses