He'll never leave her. I've seen the movies.

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He'll never leave her. I've seen the movies.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Pully91
    Pully91
    Participant
    December 21, 2016 at 6:06 am #120779
    He'll never leave her. I've seen the movies.

    Four weeks ago I met someone who I clicked with instantly. We both felt this pull right from the get go. But he’s engaged. Nothing untoward happened, just talking.

    Since then I have spent more time with him than I have with my bestie. He has described me to his best friend as the male version of himself. Neither of us has ever met someone we connect with on this level. Even though nothing has happened with us, if we carry on, its inevitable, right? He loves his fiance and I don’t want to come between them, but I feel this pull and I can’t stop it. It feels like we’ve known each other for an eternity.It is scary how alike we are.

    Have you ever met someone who touched your soul?

    I see the crash up ahead. He won’t leave her. They never do. He thinks I am perfect. Beautiful inside and out, and its mutual. We’ve spoken about this bond we are building, which in a way is worse than if we just had sex. When you connect so deeply with someone, how can you cut that out?

    I’m so confused.

    JDP96
    JDP96
    Participant
    December 24, 2016 at 3:13 pm #120984

    This is a confusing situation. You could have a connection with him, but he may think of it as just a friendship. If he hasn’t made any moves on you then he is obviously committed to his fiance. I would say to leave him be in his upcoming marriage, but it’s easier said then done. If you truly believe he could love you then sit down and have a conversation with him. If you do this, remember to think about the other woman involved, she also loves him.

    Pully91
    Pully91
    Participant
    December 26, 2016 at 6:22 am #121063

    This past week things have escalated very quickly. We’ve kissed on a number of occasions. Last week we met up 5 times.

    Now he’s started talking about how strong his feelings are for me and he feels like he’s outgrown his current relationship. We’ve both spoken at great length about our feelings for one another. I really care about him, but I have no expectations. But he says he’s never met someone like me, and the same goes for me. He says he’s always thinking about me, and he doesn’t know what to do.

    I have been trying to bring him down to earth a bit. I’ve asked him if he is prepared to throw away an entire life for someone he barely knows. I’ve told him I am not asking for anything from him, and he needs to do whats right for himself. I’ve asked him, if I wasn’t in the picture, would you still want to leave her? If the answer is no, then don’t do it now. But we still want each other. I feel bad for his fiance, that’s why I told him to make sure she never finds out. Its too cruel.


    Ukulelele
    Participant
    December 27, 2016 at 10:35 am #121143

    My thoughts are that it would hurt his fiancee more to hear it in the future than now. However hard it may be in the moment, it’s probably better for him to tell her how he’s feeling about you sooner rather than later, if your feelings for one another continue to grow like they have. Best wishes. <3


    josephddiazz
    Participant
    December 29, 2016 at 10:56 am #121273

    My thoughts are that it would hurt his fiancee more to hear it in the future than now. However hard it may be in the moment, it’s probably better for him to tell her how he’s feeling about you sooner rather than later, if your feelings for one another continue to grow like they have. Best wishes. <3

    I whole heartedly agree. The only thing worse than being betrayed, is finding out years later that there WAS betrayal.


    imfine
    Participant
    January 3, 2017 at 11:25 pm #121573

    I’m dealing with a similar situation except Id be the guy you’re falling in love with and you would have dated him before. My ex wants to get back with me but I’m happily with someone else. I feel like I could just drop everything for him though. He was my first love. My true love. My advice for you would be to make it easier for him to choose. Show him all the good things about you. Then remind him that he needs to choose. Look I think I may drop my ex, but that’s because he dropped me, but you… I think this guy really wants you and he wouldn’t still have a fiancé of it wasnt an extremely hard decision. So maybe stop thinking about what’s best for him and think about what’s best for you. Show him that she isn’t worth it and you are. Make him want you, but make it impossible to see that its you. He doesn’t know what he wants. You do. Find a way to get it. If you don’t get it.. suck it it up, because there are people that would actually treasure your company. Just go find them


    Anonymous
    January 6, 2017 at 8:19 pm #122126

    What your describing sounds like he just see’s you as a friend an nothing more. He is engaged, you can fantasize all you want but you need to be realistic and honest with yourself what this actually is… just a friendship.

    If you think he is interesting then he probably is thinking of keeping his future wife and see you as someone to just use and play around with.

    If you do end up dating him, what happens when the wife finds out? Of course he will keep her and just completely forget about you. It sounds cruel, but that is usually the way life is.


    AcesDJD
    Participant
    January 7, 2017 at 11:31 am #122134

    You’re lucky pully, I’m in a similar situation, but it seems like it may be one sided from my end. See what comes of it, but realize you may end up with a broken heart. It’s a big decision for him, but at least he’s not married.

    mialmagemela
    mialmagemela
    Participant
    January 10, 2017 at 11:43 am #122422
    Reply To: He'll never leave her. I've seen the movies.

    This must be very painful but if you don’t want to get hurt even worse I would just cut ties with him. It won’t be easy but it is possible. Put yourself first, if you don’t, nobody will. Besides, think of the other girl, imagine if you were her? I think you know what is the right thing to do.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    January 18, 2017 at 11:26 pm #123629
    Reply To: He'll never leave her. I've seen the movies.

    “soulmates” don’t always mean “romantic couple” – and you are finding this out. my soulmate is also not the person i will ever be with romantically. if you can find a way to accept and acknowledge this – then this friendship goes a lot easier/smoother and a lot more deeper and rewarding.

    there is no logic sometimes to life and matters of the heart and emotions. you are experiencing one of its most beautiful, yet perplexing iterations.

    good luck and i hope you find a way to accept this… logical, yet illogical phenomenon.


    MunkaTwo
    Participant
    January 19, 2017 at 1:46 pm #123746
    Reply To: He'll never leave her. I've seen the movies.

    Don’t ever give up on love, no matter what the circumstance is. If you believe something to be, it’ll be.


    glamourousv3000
    Participant
    January 19, 2017 at 3:34 pm #123790
    Reply To: He'll never leave her. I've seen the movies.

    I agree