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LydiaheartParticipantJanuary 4, 2015 at 3:11 am #69848
I’ve just started seeing this great guy: we have the best banter, he seems kind and lovely, and I am incredibly attracted to him. There’s just one catch: he seems to be a tightarse! On our first date, we went dutch – not something I’m used to, but not the end of the world. But on the second, he didn’t have cash on him at a cash-only restaurant, so I paid. Since then, we’ve still gone dutch, but he seems hopeless at carrying cash (last night, I paid $20 extra for dinner). I’ll admit I’ve been spoilt in previous relationships, with guys buying me dinner, and I come from a generous family. I feel that if he bought me dinner once, I’d buy it the next time – that’s normally how I work. I’m just not sure if it’s a deal-breaker or not. He’s amazing in every other way! Should I speak to him about it? And if so, how do I approach it without offending him? Keep in mind he’s done nice things like cook me breakfast when I’ve stayed over. (Oh, and in case you’re wondering, he’s gainfully employed!)
dave87ParticipantJanuary 4, 2015 at 2:07 pm #69853
Yup. He’s a cheapskate. That’s hard to bring up with someone, as it’s likely he was raised to be tight with his money and will not see it as a problem. Personally, I wouldn’t be able to be with someone that values his money more than developing a relationship, but if you can overlook it, then all power to you. If it starts to get in the way of the relationship (ex. declining to go somewhere because it’s “too expensive”), then I would bring it up.
georgiegirlParticipantJanuary 10, 2015 at 3:48 pm #70273
they next time he asks you out to dinner, etc…. let him know up front that you will not have any money to pay for anything… do not offer reasons why.. you just will not have money for the date……………………. he should be more than willing to pay for it all… if he is for sure interested in you and the relationship… if he isn’t ok with the fact that he will be paying for it all, then it is time to move on……………………………… while it is fine to be “tight” with ones money… it is not ok to be that tight, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship………. good luck!!
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