HELP please I can't figure out what I should do

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HELP please I can't figure out what I should do

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    golfer007
    Participant
    April 30, 2015 at 1:51 pm #78175
    HELP please I can't figure out what I should do

    HELP!!! what do you think?
    Okay so we’ve known each other forever. he played football for my dad, his middle brother was a assistant golf coach when he was home and his youngest brother and I are really good friends. he’s only several years older than me. But a while ago (when I was in the stage of doing anthing my parents wouldn’t like) we had Friends with benefits relationship and it ended because I we were in 2 separate states I was just starting college while he just finished… well recently I was talking to him because I am graduating and I got a job in the same city and was asking him about where to look for apartments and everything else because I am going to a big city and we both grew up in a small town and where I went to college was even a smaller town. This was the first time I’ve talked too him Since summer because our families are friends and we see each other at the 4th of July party they have (at that party though i had a boyfriend and he brougut home another girl)

    • This topic was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  golfer007. Reason: wrong topic

    golfer007
    Participant
    April 30, 2015 at 1:56 pm #78177

    So earlier this spring my family was in town helping apartment seach and they said were going out to dinner with him… Well he then later texted And asked if i would want to go on a date… we haven’t gone out yet but like I’ve been busy with just moving. I’m ready for a serious relationship and I think he is too. But with our past will this work out? The parts that scare me is he was definitely a party boy/player. And the only part I’m really worried about is since we were friends with benefits before will that effect our relationship now?

    And recently we were both in town for Easter and I was playing golf to prepare for the end of my college career and he was out with his brothers and friends and I ended up playing with them unexpectedly because I caught up and they said tee up. So I played with them and had a really fun time with them


    INeedHelp
    Participant
    April 30, 2015 at 8:39 pm #78214

    I don’t like regrets. Life is to short. I think it is always better to try something and have it fail (if it is so destined) than to never have tried at all.

    You say that you were friends with benefits before, and you now fear that this might negatively affect your relationship today. You might be right, he may have become so used to seeing you as a friend with whom he shared those benefits. And he may very well not see you as a relationship partner. Your fears I believe are therefore not unfounded. What I do think – and maybe I am being overly optimistic – is that his days of playing around might have shown him what he really wants. Friendship is often a strong foundation for a relationship. He may very well see you and recognize you as the one person who have been there for him. There may exist a bond. And all the others who came after or who drifted through his life probably never stayed there for a reason. I say try it. If it doesn’t work, try and rebuild the friendship you had


    golfer007
    Participant
    May 1, 2015 at 8:37 am #78178

    And another reason the friends with benefits ended was I started getting feelings and he didn’t want a relationship but that was about 4 or 5 years ago