Help with shy coworker


Help with shy coworker

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    May 5, 2018 at 1:30 pm #172295
    Help with shy coworker

    So I’m confused by my coworker because she has shown interest with me, but her behaviour seems to change when others are around. For example when we’re alone she’ll be very playful and try to get my attention (ie she’ll sneak up behind me and try to scare me, or make a weird gesture). She’s also very comfortable around me, for example when in the break room she sat down across from me and offered me some of her food and we had great conversation in which she referred to us as “we”. She is also always smiling around me, but this is something she does around most people. She also remembers something she told me more than a month ago

    However, when others are around she is friendly, but not very playful and she’ll talk to the others around her before talking with me. She doesn’t ignore me, she just talks with the others first. I don’t understand this. This girl is shy, but very friendly when people talk with her. Is this girl uninterested? What does her behaviour indicate? Thanks.

    May 8, 2018 at 5:30 am #172490

    If you like her, don’t think too much about whether or not she likes you back. Just go for it and ask her out. She’ll appreciate that you have the guts to do so.

    May 10, 2018 at 1:19 pm #172811

    Agree with the above, if you like her, and it seems like she likes you, just ask her out! The best way to find out if she’s interested is not to spend so much time analyzing her behaviors and body language, oftentimes that can very easily be misconstrued. Just ask her out. Suggest a date and time, and keep the first date light. Coffee, tea, ice cream or drinks (if you’re old enough) are a great first date idea.

    May 10, 2018 at 5:52 pm #172862

    Good news – she likes you!

    The fact that she referred to you both as “we” indicates that she already is comfortable as seeing you as a “team” which is great. She also offered you food, and remembered something you told her a long time ago – girls who don’t have an interest in you DO NOT DO THIS.

    Now what are you going to do about it?

    From the looks of it….nothing. It’s no wonder that she doesn’t engage you deeply with other people around, she’s giving you all these signals, but you haven’t even given her one back! Can you imagine how frustrating that is? Not to mention risky…if she gives you anymore hints, the others around her will start to catch on and know that she’s into you! This would be bad for her, if it turns out that you don’t like her.

    The longer you keep her waiting, the more convinced she is going to be that you actually don’t share feelings for her. Approach her from a place of understanding, and get a move on!

    Hope that helps!


    May 10, 2018 at 6:54 pm #172863

    Awwww this is so cute! I would say go and make your move. Not only is she shy but she’s also reserved. I think you have a good chance.

    May 21, 2018 at 8:14 am #174639

    Posting here since it won’t let me start a new thread:

    We went on our first date earlier this week and it seemed to go well, but I’m a bit confused.

    What went well: Great conversation, no awkward moments. She was genuinely interested in the conversation, and we talked about some somewhat deep topics. She was laughing and smiling throughout the date.

    What went wrong: There was zero physical contact for most of the date. We were both laidback and comfortable which made it hard to touch but I feel as though not initiating touch sends the wrong message. I also tried to kiss her at the end of the date, by putting my arm out to pull her in, but she went for a hug instead. I don’t know if she thought I was going for a hug or not but it was still disappointing.

    So I texted her the day after our date and we confirmed a second date. With that being said I’m still confused. Did I convey disinterest by not getting physical