He's scared of being heartbroken…what to do?

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He's scared of being heartbroken…what to do?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    jnm4sd
    Participant
    January 14, 2016 at 2:32 pm #91692
    He's scared of being heartbroken…what to do?

    lifelong friend living 900 miles away but is completely in love with me and I love him dearly. He stopped contact abruptly when he discovered he legally couldn’t relocate to my state with his child. It broke him in pieces. He didn’t realize I could relocate (going through divorce with three kids but my ex is willing to move all of us to his state-long story but my ex and I are good friends should never have married). He knows now and is being super cautious about letting me back into his life simply because he’s afraid I won’t follow through with the move. He is very distant despite being very honest about being in love with me and wanting me to move. He stopped talking to me for two days then reached out to tell me how he feels. He’s keeping up contact but it’s distant out of his fear he will get too close and lose me again. Reassuring him I’m working on moving there just scares him more. What do I do? How do I let him feel safe?


    jnm4sd
    Participant
    January 14, 2016 at 2:52 pm #91693

    He’s admitted that he ran because he was so upset, he wants me to move, he loves me. He apologized. Said he just wants to stay being friends until he knows I can move because trying any sort of long distance relationship after my divorce finalizes is too hard for him emotionally if he can’t physically be with me. … But I’m getting one word answers or no response to texts totally unrelated to moving. Like stuff we normally talk about. I’m giving him space to regroup by allowing him to come to me. But like the last set of messages were me asking about how his son is. He said he had a doctor appointment and needed shots. I said poor kid, and told him my daughter just had her appointment with shots too. He responded the next morning “aww poor baby”. A few hours later I said “she’ll be okay she’s a trooper. Hope you have a good day” and he read it and didn’t respond. Before two weeks ago when he found out he couldn’t move, he responded to all messages immediately so it’s a change