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DATING ADVICE FORUM

Hi

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    mschaaff
    Participant
    May 16, 2016 at 8:55 pm #100565
    Hi

    Hi I’m new and was wondering how I could get over the fear of dating. how do I know i’m ready to date or if i’m not ? the only probably I seem to have is that i’m 29 and live with my parents. I do work but even though i do i still feel a low self esteem in myself and a lot of anxiety. i look at dating as a painfuly scary thing that I’ve really avoided most of my life. i don’t feel all that ready to date but i’m getting older and its bothering me that i see other people dating an not me. anyway.. this is my first time posting and just wanted to be apart of a group of supportive online community.


    lukjas
    Participant
    May 17, 2016 at 2:50 am #100575

    Seems like you have to improve how you see yourself first before even thinking of dating. What is causing you to have low self esteem? You have to fix that first because no one likes drama. And living with your parents at 29 is kinda off-putting for many people seeking mates so you have to address that too.


    mschaaff
    Participant
    May 19, 2016 at 1:32 am #100756

    yeah I know. I just I’ve been single almost my whole life since high school. I’ve never really had a girlfriend. so it’s always has been a area I could never fullfil. I think now over these few years it’s been bothering me that i can’t get over this problem. I can’t just get ride of the thought of the whole dating and sex and being in a relationship. it really just eats at me every day. maybe I should think of other things and think of focusing on myself. but I don’t want to wait longer then i have. i feel like i’m losing hope and i don’t want to keep waiting any longer. i understand i need to improve on myself but that may take a while to fix. it makes sense that i should exercise, eat right and do other type of actives. But everytime i see a girl walk towards me i feel a very strong attraction. and there’s nothing i can do about that. i know i’m 29 and living with parents i have to say SUCKS a lot and it’s emotional hurting me in so many ways.


    mschaaff
    Participant
    May 19, 2016 at 7:17 am #100757

    please. i just need help with my situation and to know what it is i need to do in my living problem and health.


    mschaaff
    Participant
    May 19, 2016 at 7:17 am #100758

    ?


    aqualoh37
    Participant
    May 20, 2016 at 7:03 am #100819

    At this point, you should just go talk to a girl and get her number if she responds well. If not , then it’s not the end of the world. Even if you get rejected, you have still succeeded since you have proven to yourself that you are not a pussy. You will realize its not as big of a deal as you though it was, and then you will start building confidence. I am kind of like you except I am 19, and I have learned not to give a fuck. I still have that fear, but I push myself regardless of how painful it is, because I will feel worse if I give in to my fears.


    mschaaff
    Participant
    May 22, 2016 at 3:43 pm #100959

    That’s true aqualoh. it’s better to approach some girls you find attractive then not at all. cause that would be a step up for me for sure. I just wish I had some friends to go out and get help with. I don’t like having to do things on my own in where I have to push myself to do things, without some company in doing it. Big problem is that I don’t have much of a social life or any friends and so I don’t really have much support doing crazy things for myself. you know what I mean ? it’s not that I don’t want to push myself. But if I get rejected by some girl that I tried to approach I wouldn’t have anyone who’s got my back to give me some mellow support when things don’t go good. I’ve attempted talking to some girls alone but I couldn’t follow throw on it and would lose keeping it up. i’m trying not to give a shit but I feel very judged around people.


    mschaaff
    Participant
    May 22, 2016 at 3:56 pm #100960

    aqualoh.. if you have any pointers and good idea’s please let me know. i’m open to suggests on improving my situation


    aqualoh37
    Participant
    May 22, 2016 at 11:45 pm #100970
    Reply To: Hi

    Are you insecure about your looks/personality? Do you feel incompetent? I would say just slowly push yourself to talk to more people. Try making small talk and see where it goes. Start working out. Trust me, you will get in shape and mentally feel better about yourself. At this age, I think it would be really hard for you to make new friends. You would have to join a club/organization, or try to make friends with some of your co-workers. Perhaps, you can get drinks with them and try talking to women. Honestly, even if you’re alone it doesn’t matter. Women around your age care more about your personality and your job, then the number of friends you have. Friends are good to have, but you have to learn to rely on yourself. I suffer from anxiety too, and I will tell you medications definitely help. I know a lot of people who have gotten relief from that.


    mschaaff
    Participant
    May 23, 2016 at 9:16 pm #101122
    Reply To: Hi

    Yeah i’m looking into joining some clubs or at least some meetups. I just haven’t found any ones i’d feel I would fit into or like. there’s a lot of bad meetups too. but it’s my only real way of getting out there and meeting people an making friends it seems. I guess school too if I was taking classes but I haven’t made any yet doing so. with work i’m not really clicking all that well with my co workers i’m just doing my job and keeping to myself. plus my job isn’t all that great but it’s money so… I would have to find happiness outside or work, cause work it just stressful and having to deal with crazy weird customers. I think i’m going to need to seek fulfillment outside of work. at the moment right now i’m stock with the job im in and I can’t just get up an leave. why do you think at my age it’s really hard to make friends ? im just curious in what you meant by that. anyway I believe what you said about relying on yourself, that’s true. but don’t you think it makes it easier


    mschaaff
    Participant
    May 23, 2016 at 9:27 pm #101123
    Reply To: Hi

    to have some friends who are on the same path with you. i’m not talking about a lot of friends but just that few who believe that you’re trying to improve yourself and trying to meet women. I like having like minded people cause then it doesn’t feel like that your the only one out there doing something to better them self. I don’t know. if I was to go out and start trying to meet women even though I was scared. I wouldn’t want to do it on my own. but tell me im wrong cause I want to tackle this issue.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  mschaaff.

    Jackaquack
    Participant
    May 29, 2016 at 1:16 am #101596
    Reply To: Hi

    I would start by going to social events and making small talk with women. If that’s hard for you, create conversation with anyone you run into at bars, clubs, etc. and eventually you’ll build up the confidence to talk to women.


    jamwsc
    Participant
    May 29, 2016 at 11:21 pm #101605
    Reply To: Hi

    Have you tried using some sort of dating service before? I feel like it’s a good platform not only just to meet people but also to try different techniques. It’s a big hurdle to jump over the fear of dating, but you can’t overcome it until you believe in yourself. So if I were you, I would consider trying some dating service platform because if you mess up, it really isn’t the end of the world! As you get better, perhaps you can start attending local events and get yourself out there. It’s all about confidence, and once you have it you should be set! I wish you all the best!


    Themamguy
    Participant
    May 30, 2016 at 1:52 am #101609
    Reply To: Hi

    Try some dating websites! Or go put to a bar and just enjoy yourself. Girl love confidence and maybe someone will see you and strike up a convorsation!