How do I ask her out without ruining the friendship?

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How do I ask her out without ruining the friendship?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    September 9, 2017 at 11:49 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    tickets21
    Participant
    September 14, 2017 at 11:22 am #149021
    How do I ask her out without ruining the friendship?

    I’ve known this girl for a few months now. I’m really into her but not sure if she is into me at all or even if she has a boyfriend. We go to the same college and I’m in one of her classes. We talk on a regular basis about our class and some other things, like normal friends, but there’s never been any indication by her or from me that there’s something beyond that. I feel afraid to ask her out because, sometimes, I feel like “why would she want to go out with me instead of some much better guy?” Also, I really want to be friends with her no matter what and I don’t want to ruin that by bringing this up. If I do end up asking her out, how? I’ve never been this into a girl before so I’m not sure what the best way is to go about it. Should I message her or does that make it seem like I’m too much of a coward? Should I go up to her and talk to her or does that not give her time to think/react appropriately? How can I do this so this so that the friendship isn’t ruined even if she says no?


    tickets21
    Participant
    September 14, 2017 at 11:24 am #149022

    For further context/reference, I vaguely know her brother (but not really, we haven’t really talked much) and I know some of her friends but not any of her female friends (only male friends, and it might be a bad idea to talk to her male friends about it for obvious reasons).

    Also, her birthday is coming up soon. Should I bring this up before her birthday?


    bell282
    Participant
    September 14, 2017 at 8:01 pm #149113

    I would ask her to study together and get to know her better… or ask her to meet for a drink and see where it goes.


    Jeremy23422
    Participant
    September 17, 2017 at 12:51 pm #149286

    I think you just answered your own question. “there’s never been any indication by her or from me that there’s something beyond that.” Unless she is a complete wallflower, a woman will absolutely let you know if she is interested. Does she flirt with you? Show a lot of interest in you and what’s going on in your life? Ever hint that she wants to spend one-on-one time together?

    If not, my instinct would be save the friendship and move on. Just to spare yourself the rejection.