How do I break up with my girlfriend?

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How do I break up with my girlfriend?

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    conman526
    Participant
    June 19, 2016 at 3:24 am #103616
    How do I break up with my girlfriend?

    Unfortunately, no matter what I do, I cannot permanently improve my girlfriends clingyness, temper of minute things, her constant whining, and her constant complaining about my parents, when I really like my parents. We have had a lot of sex in the year we’ve been dating. Her Mom knows, and is perfectly fine with it as she did the same thing. My Mom does not know, and would most likely ground me for ever, not support me in college, and disown me. I have a plan of how to break up with my girlfriend with hopefully no lasting bad feelings, because we share a lot of the same friends. My real worry is that her Mom would call my Mom, and tell her about us having sex. My life would essentially be ruined if my Mom found out.
    How do I break up with my girlfriend (I will take advice on this as well), but how do I prevent her Mom from contacting my Mom?


    conman526
    Participant
    June 19, 2016 at 3:28 am #103617

    I need to also mention that our mothers have not talked in a month because of an overreaction of my girlfriend and her Mom over a tiny misunderstanding. Our mothers tried to resolve their differences, but they did not, as they ended up yelling at each other in a coffee shop and have not talked or laid eyes on each other since.
    My Mom is supportive of whatever I decide to do, as she knows I want to break up with my girlfriend. My Mom made the point a while ago that it is almost like I am dating my girlfriend and her Mom. Every time my girlfriend overreacts at everything, her Mom contacts my Mom to complain about me.
    My girlfriend and I are going off to different colleges in the fall. I cannot deal with her obsessiveness in separate colleges, and I want her to make friends. She will not make many friends if she is still dating me in college because she will just obsess over me.
    Thank you


    jess387
    Participant
    June 20, 2016 at 12:37 am #103625

    If your mom knows how her mom is than dont worry about her telling your mom anything. Your mom will probably think shes furious and over reacting about the break up and you could reinforce that. That shouldnt stop you from breaking up with her. Sounds like shes a pain in the a$@.


    Anonymous
    June 20, 2016 at 2:29 pm #103672

    I am always a fan of telling the truth. Your mom will eventually be okay. If she were to disown you and not support you through college because you had sex…man! That’s not a very good mom….I know you like your parents, but reality is, if you are that afraid of her….of being yourself….and if you are that worried that she will not accept and love you no matter what….your parents need to learn. I get it’s scary to be honest, especially when there is possibly a lot at stake.

    If you are not willing to be honest, maybe you could tell your mom you are going to break up with her and that it would be a really good idea to block the number of her mom so she doesn’t call and bitch about him. Maybe your mom would agree to that since the other mom is so yucky. Your mom does not need to deal with all of that. And play it simple….when someone is really dramatic and tends to be over-reactive, expect that no matter what you say, it’s going to go bad. So stay simple


    Anonymous
    June 20, 2016 at 2:33 pm #103673

    and don’t give any reasons for why you are breaking up. She will probably want to know why, but she doesn’t sound like a safe person to talk about everything with. She sounds like she has the potential to take anything you say and try and hurt you back with it in some form or another. So DO NOT give her any of the real reasons. Just say….it’s not working out anymore. I want to head in a different direction. But remember, you have to have the broken record technique. She will want to know why, get mad at, blame you and what not and try to pull you into the drama of all of it. DO NOT get sucked in. Just keep saying….”I know this sucks and I’m so sorry that what I need hurts you. Never the less…I need to head in a different direction.” Just keep repeating that over and over to anything she says. At some point, you can always just walk away and say “I’ve made my decision. This is over. Goodbye” The longer you try and stay and help her through this, the worse it will


    Anonymous
    June 20, 2016 at 2:35 pm #103674

    get. You have to be okay with letting her hurt and figure it out on her own. Do not try and rescue her from the pain. It’s not your job. It’s her job. She has to learn how to work through losses like this, as you are not the only one who will do this to her. It’s a life skill that we have to develop, so let her figure it out on her own. Hope this helps and good luck!